Our Little Funny Bunny

I've Moved

2008-02-28T08:58:00.002-05:00

It's my 300th post today and I've jumped ship from Blogger. I figured I'm moving in September I might as well move sites as well. So if you so desire you can find more of me over here now. I'm still trying to work out the kinks, posting pictures there is not working right now but as with all new things only time & patience.

Wowee, what have I done?

2008-02-22T21:30:00.001-05:00

I'd say for about a little more than 6 months I've been itching to move. Well it looks like we are moving. Our offer was accepted. Unbelievable to us considering what the agent told us. Today I got cold feet about the whole thing. It was really over the most trivial thing too. For the past 3 1/2 years Joe & his dad have been working on finishing the basement, yes that long, having a child will slowww things down, so anyway this morning I remembered the fireplace that we put down there and how we had chosen this sleek black marble tile that went from floor to ceiling and how we had placed a small black shelf across the face of it and how now I would not get to enjoy it. God how materialistic am I? But it was this fireplace that got me thinking how maybe it's not a good idea. How we did so much work on making this house a home and now I'm giving it to strangers. How I'll miss Samantha's room so much, the room that she spent her baby years in. The house we're moving too is slightly smaller (which is a bonus), the lot is smaller too, but the price is a little bit higher than what we can sell this one for. But, it is much closer to my work, the backyard backs onto a park, and Samantha's future school is a 10 minute walk. One of Joe's friend's live on one street over from the house too. I guess I'm just missing all the memories. I know we'll create new ones but I feel sad at leaving this house here. Our first home together. I never thought I'd have such strong feelings now about moving. I'm hoping I don't regret this down the road. My head tells me it's a good move. My mom already gave me her mouthful of negativity. I know she means well but it makes me believe my doubts even more. I just have to remember that she's mostly negative about everything and is a very hard woman to please. So I guess I'll be taking that leap of faith come this May when we put the house up for sale. Oh my god.

On one more note, I did call Mt. Sinai for their group therapy sessions, as I was told by my assessment counsellor, but was politely told that they do not offer group. I also checked out the other program she told me about at Women's College but on the website they specifically say I need a referral from my doctor. Which makes me wonder if the counsellor knew this why did she not tell me so. UGGGGHHH... I will still call them on Monday and see what they tell me. I did find another program on their site, called Brief Psychotherapy for Women, which by what I read sounds like you do not need a referral but only to call them and they will place you on a waiting list. I know all I need is to call my family doctor but it just irks me that I have to take all these steps to get to where I'd like to go. I should've gotten my PHD in psychiatry I could've saved myself the cash and analyzed myself ;-)

Things Happen All At Once

2008-02-20T23:34:00.002-05:00

Monday I had an appointment, an initial assessment that's done over the
phone, with the first place I called. They finally called me a week
after I had placed the call. I was ok with doing an assessment over the phone, the trick was finding a quiet and private place at work to make the phone call. Found it up on the 19th floor in one of the training rooms. So I phoned the counsellor up. After 15 minutes I hung up. And I was pretty disappointed with the "service". Basically she asked me to give answers on a scale of 1 to 10 on questions that you would find in a women's magazine to identify depression. After the 4th question I already knew what the next one would be. She then asked if I would be comfortable with group sessions and I knew that she thought my depression was not as severe as it should be to warrant one on one care. Most likely after me answering the question, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much in crisis are you at this point?". To which I replied most days 5 some days 6. So, I responded yes I wouldn't mind group but am also looking for one on one. She gave me 2 group sessions, one at Mount Sinai and the other at Women's College. She ended the call by saying that she had no appointments available for one on one but if I didn't find those 2 groups suitable she would try to find me another one. Needless to say with my huge procastination I haven't called either of the groups. Tomorrow I will though, at least to see what it's like. I still have my other appointment in April so I'll keep that.
I got an email today from a friend that reminded me how good it is to have this blogging community around us. It truly is. Sometimes I think it's better than therapy. Without blogging I don't think I'd be where I am now. It's a good thing.
On another note, Joe & I are thinking about moving. Well, not actually thinking, we made an offer on a home which was not accepted and went back this afternoon to sign it back with some more modifications. We should find out tomorrow or Friday. In my heart I'm excited
and at the same time sad. As much as I complain about where I'm
living, it will be hard to leave my home. Many good memories are here,
along with bad, and when I think about living somewhere else I wonder if
it's the right thing. The new home is much closer to my job and our
backyard would have a park right behind it. But as I was driving to the sales site, I got such a good feeling about driving through the town. I lived here before I got married (Richmond Hill) and I never really wanted to leave. We shall see, we shall see.
Then Joe's brother called us tonite and asked if we wanted to go to Orlando at the end of April with him and his wife's family. I'm hesitant. I hate to fly, and the flight they have picked leaves at 6 fricken 30 in the morning. Not a good time to leave. We'd have to leave the house at 4am. Joe has enough problems getting Sam up at 7am. I know it's such a minor point, but I know dealing with a cranky toddler and cranky husband does not make a good start to a vacation. We're looking into possibly using Joe's airmiles to pay for one ticket and see if we can get a later flight for cheap. Another we shall see, we shall see.

And again thanks to everyone's thoughts and good wishes. Makes my heart feel happy. xoxo

Once More

2008-02-12T09:35:00.000-05:00

I called the number on Friday morning. It's Tuesday morning and they still haven't called me back. I'm in shock. Imagine if it was a woman that had called that morning and it had taken an enormous amount of courage to make that call and she never received a call back and didn't have the courage to call again. Kind of like how I feel. I'm back to feeling lazy and wondering maybe I can just work through it on my own. I did find another place to call, this time in Richmond Hill. As for me making the phone call again, I'm wavering now. Sometimes I think it's been 2 1/2 years already, do I really need to see a therapist, will it really make these feelings disappear. Deep in my heart I know I have to make the phone call, I think it will help to talk to someone. But I'm procastinating, thinking I can do it by myself. This whole thing honestly angers me more than anything. Angers me that I can allow myself to fall completely under these irrational thoughts. I have a psych degree for god's sake, you'd think I'd be smart enough or just mentally able to keep it togther. When I was pregnant I was estactic. I couldnt' wait to have my baby and was looking forward to having another 2 after. Then, almost immediately, when we were in our hospital room I remember thinking all I wanted was for someone to take her away and never bring her back. I was regretting the whole thing. Of course the doctors said it was all due to lack of sleep and that the feelings would go away. I thought to myself, yes of course I remember reading about the "baby blues". Yet the feelings never went away. They're still here. To a lesser extent but they're still around. They cloud my judgement, they make situations harder than they should be.

I'm home today from work, the alarm didn't wake me up and neither did Joe. I have a cold too so I figured I might as well stay home and relax, and decide on making the phone call again.

Edited to add: I made the call to the other place and I have an appointment in April. April is a long way away but it's a step. Thanks all for your words, it truly it a good feeling to know that someone out there cares enough to share kind words. :)

A New Beginning

2008-02-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all your supportive comments! It's funny how a kind word can make things seem so much better. I'm still waiting for the return call back from the counsellor I left a message for. I'm assuming by Monday she should call back. I haven't told Joe or anyone else in my family. I already know what Joe will say. He'll say if it makes me feel better than do it. He's not one for talking about it. I think he doesn't know how to deal with it.

Today was my day off from work. As usual Samantha did not nap. I have a hard time putting her down for a nap. With others she usually goes to sleep no problem. Usually no nap means an early bed time. She's finally over her cold and cough. Well more like it isn't as bad as it was before. It's still congested and getting her to use that aspirator is torture. I wish she could blow her nose.

The above was written around 6ish. It's now 8:30 and Samantha is upstairs with Joe. Hopefully it won't take him too long to get her to fall asleep. The night time routine has been pretty long & exhausting over the last 5 months.

I'm going to go conk out now. Maybe finish my last new novel. I'm reading Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. Good book.

Baby Steps

2008-02-08T09:54:00.000-05:00

This morning I made the call. I called the number that perhaps will get me moving in the right direction. I posted, last year I believe, on how I wanted to go for counselling for my ppd but I just couldnt' make myself do it. This morning I woke up and thought if I don't do it now I never will. I'm so tired of leaving work every night and not wanting to come home, not wanting to deal with Samantha or life. Sad isn't it. I think to myself why do I feel this way? I'm not crazy, but I just can't handle things anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter but each day seems like a struggle. I see other women in life that have kids and enjoy being a mom. I would love to feel like that. Does that make me a bad person??, for not enjoying life with Samantha. Is it fair to her? Thankfully she can't see or understand how I feel. Anyway the words aren't coming out the way I'd like, so I'm just waiting for the return phone call to get things moving.

Why Bother

2008-01-31T18:48:00.000-05:00

Back in December I took part in a Secret Ornament Swap hosted by Julie. I thought it was a great idea. Buy an ornament and send it off to the person you were matched with. When you received your ornament you were supposed to take a picture and post it and link back to the person who gave it to you. I was pretty excited about it and I took a lot of time to choose my ornament. I didn't know too much about my partner, just from what I gathered by reading her blog. So I choose my ornament, and it wasn't cheap by the way, and mailed it off right away. It was about 3 weeks before Christmas. After a week went by I began checking to see if she received it. I checked all the way up until Christmas Eve. I figured it was lost. I emailed her after the holidays and apologized that she didn't receive it and felt bad that it got lost. Well she emailed me back and said she did get it but never got around to posting about it but would shortly. She never has and she posts regularly. This just irks me, I mean why participate in something if you're not even going to acknowledge the fact and play along. Why bother.

Turistica

2008-01-25T15:51:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged much lately. I've been feeling overwhelmed. Samantha has been pushing my buttons lately. I know she's testing me to see how far she can go but lately I've felt like I've aged 100 years. At one point I look at her and think wow, she's amazing and 20 minutes later I look at her and think why why why are tantrums the word of the hour? But each day I wake up and try to remember it's only a phase, it will pass, I will feel like I'm doing a great job and being a mom is fun too. I hope.

Yesterday we, my cousin, Joe & I played tourist in Toronto. In the morning we went down to the Distillery district and walked around. Although the sun was out it was still a bit cold so there weren't too many people around. I'm thinking in the spring & summer more of the stores and galleries will be open. But we did discover a chocolaterie, where we sampled some delish goods. I tried a chocolate truffle with a 10 year old balsamic vinegar filling. Strange combo you would think but it was good. My cousin had the truffle with an olive oil filling. Again weird but tasty. I also had a Mayan hot chocolate. I had heard of this before and it was good, it had vanilla, cinnamon, and chili pepper tastes. Interesting. We also found this wine bar/restaurant which looked like it had good potential for a dinner one night.

After the distillery we had lunch at Spring Rolls. Quick, tasty and economical. From there we went to the St. Lawrence Market. I had not been there before and was in awe. Thank god we ate before or I think we would've come out with bags of groceries. What an amazing place. Joe did manage to buy some parmesan cheese at half the price of what we pay in the suburbs and some lamb chops. He was happy.

After we went to the ROM, but seeing as we only had about an hour and a half to spare and the price of the ticket was $20.00 we saved it for another day. We spent the rest of our time walking on Bloor, cold but enjoying the day. My cousin is off to New York tomorrow for a week but can't wait to have her return next Sunday so we can play tourist again.

The Distillery District

The mustard store at the market

Joe on the hunt for a good deal

Politica

2008-01-25T15:41:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday we took my cousin & her boyfriend out for dinner to a great restaurant, Politica. It was a wonderful meal. The restaurant is located on the King St W strip, near Liberty Village. Italian food that is delicious and priced right. They also welcome kids and have a pasta & tomato sauce dish especially for them. The atmosphere was pleasant, although the restaurant was packed, you could still hear yourself think and talk with your friends. I started off with the Cornmeal Crusted Calamari which was scrumptious, crunchy and not squishy. For the main course I choose the Farfalle (bowtie pasta) & Grilled Chicken Asiago, it was done in a creamy garlic sauce which was not heavy at all. My mouth is watering right now. For dessert was the best creme brulee I've ever had, it was amazing. I loved this restaurant and hopefully we'll be back again.

Cornmeal Crusted Calamari

Creme Brulee

Yummy

2008-01-11T17:19:00.001-05:00

My cousin is here visiting from Brazil. Last night we went to check out the movie P.S. I love you. I had not heard too many good things about it so I was skeptical. But you know what for those 2 hours I that I sat there I really did enjoy it. Mostly because of this man:

I had never heard of this actor before, Gerard Butler, but after I got home last night I did a little surfing on the net and discovered he has been in many movies. Yet I've never noticed him. The whole movie I was mesmerized by him and by his Irish accent. I'm a lover of all things Irish. So if you'r in the mood for some Irish deliciousness check out the movie, it is a girl movie but it doesn't require much thinking and is a fun way to pass some time.

Food Obsessed

2008-01-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

Samantha didn't throw up anymore last night. Thankfully. She's currently napping now and hopefully she won't throw up again. This possible flu that she may have or not all got me thinking on the way some people or cultures even are obsessed with food. The way it's made, served, how much is eaten or left. I've come to realize that it's this obsession that has caused me the grief that it has in the last 2 years with my daughter. Samantha's not a big girl. At 28 months she's still only 24lbs and about 35 inches tall. Still in the percentile range according to my doctor. But at the same time since she was born the questions have always been the same; did she eat/drink her milk, how much, how often, she doesn't eat as much as her cousin, she should be eating more...etc etc...
My dr told me kids for the most part know when they are full and I should trust this instinct of their's. But I haven't. I guess I've been so over consumed with trying to fatten her up that I haven't been able to pay attention to her instincts. It's disgusting.
Yesterday my inlaws were over for lunch, here are some snippets of the conversation at the table:
"ohh look at her eat that piece of meat....what a good girl....take a big bite of it....eat, eat, eat....it's good she's eating so much now, she can be a big girl now." It was unbelievable...I just sat there and ignored it all while eating my soup. My inlaws focus a lot on eating. God forbid if I miss a lunch. My mother in law will think I'm ill.
So last evening, I forced Samantha to eat her dinner, even though she was crying she didn't want to. If I would've just listened to her rather than force her to eat, maybe she wouldn't have thrown up later on. So from now on, I will try to listen to her instincts rather than just trying to force her to eat all the time. God is it just me or is this parenting thing tough sometimes?

Notes from Abroad, Finale

2008-01-06T19:31:00.000-05:00

Edited to add :( Samantha has thrown up twice now...she's sleeping again at 10:30pm....this will be the first time I've dealt with this kind of sickness...she woke up screaming because she had thrown up and I felt so horrible because it's not the most pleasant way to wake up and also because I made her eat her dinner tonite when she didn't want to and now I feel even more horrible because I had no idea she wasn't feeling well...ughh...I'm hoping she sleeps well through the night...

It's Sunday afternoon, vacation is over. The flu has run its course. I'm still on a light diet of soup, toast and the occasional chocolate muffin but I'm feeling better, and I think Joe was pretty tired of taking care of Samantha 24 7. But I've made it downstairs to the land of the living. I have lost 6lb which I guess is one way to motivate me to start eating right and maybe, just maybe, accomplish one New Year's resolution. The hardest part though is coming up with a healthy and nutritious snack idea. I always crave something sweet, especially while at work. I know fruit is such an obvious choice but eating fruit is sometimes a huge struggle for me. So I'm looking for some alternatives. Any ideas???

Notes from Abroad Part 2

2008-01-05T19:21:00.000-05:00

My husband is a metrosexual. Not that I just discovered this, I realized it almost 3 months after we started dating. But this afternoon as I lay up here in my cozy bed I heard the electric mixer going downstairs. Half hour later the heavenly smell of chocolate floated up the stairs under the door to my nose. Mmmmm. Even with the nauseous, achiness and just lousy all over feeling the smell of chocolate will get me anywhere, so I went down to the kitchen and there was my husband taking two muffin trays out of the oven. One a regular size tray and one a mini tray for Samantha. The muffins were perfect. All the same color, same size and no muffin batter all over the tins. Very unlike my muffins which are never the same size and there is always muffin batter all over. It was so like Joe. Perfection. It might've drove me crazy but at that point when I saw them I just had to laugh. Sometimes I joke around and I call him "Martha" after Martha Stewart. He hates it but come on now he cooks better than me, his closet is bigger, organized and filled with designer clothes, it usually takes him longer to get ready when we go out, he loves to shop, etc etc etc. The list goes on. I suppose I could teach him a thing or two. I drive stick better than him, I can put hook up most electronic gadgets, I've caught more fish than him lately when we've gone, I can name a tune in no less than 5 seconds and I've taught him that it's okay to be messy once in awhile, although he may not love it. I guess opposites attract after all.

Notes from Abroad Part 1

2008-01-04T11:45:00.000-05:00

It's 11:30am and I'm on a mini vacation. Not the kind that would make anyone smile though. I'm upstairs in a quiet room recovering from last night's visit from the flu fairy. Yes it's been more than 20 years or so but I have the flu. It was like morning sickness all over again. It came on so suddenly, one minute I was eating dinner the next I felt nauseous and it was all downhill after that. So this morning I'm here in bed, resting. About to nod off again. Joe came home from work at 10 and he's downstairs making me some soup and playing Mr.Mom for the time being. Hey, I might even get to finish a book or two off my reading list!

15 Years Ago

2008-01-03T12:31:00.000-05:00

They say by looking in the past you can learn for the future. Or something like that. Today I was in the nesting mode and having chosen the to send Samantha off to Nonna's I started clearing some rooms of clutter and came across my diary of 15 years ago. Where I had a good laugh reading and reminiscing. Here's what I wrote 15 years ago on January 4 1993, my comments are bolded & in brackets.

Today was the 1st day back. Animal Behaviour (my 3rd year UofT class) is going to be a hard course. We have to know a basic level of algebra and don't ask me if I can remember. (Turns out we didn't need algebra) But I need this course so I'll have to study. As for dropping SOC346 I still don't know.
I'm very tired for the past few days, I've been sleeping quite a bit and today & yesterday I've had a sore throat. I wonder what it could be? (At least I was getting lots of sleep back then)
Oh yeah! On New Year's Eve when I was at work, this GORGEOUS, guy came in. He talked to me quite a bit and he asked if I wanted to go to a New Year's Eve party with him but I said no cause I thought he was only joking and I didn't want to make a fool of myself. Anyway, I guess I lost a pretty good chance with a gorgeous guy. (Oh my god, I was soooo lost).
Well tomorrow's the first day back at kindergarten. (My volunteer class). I wonder if Ed will be there and if I'll still like him. (Ed was one of the guidance counsellors and gay, this didn't deter me). I wonder if Doughboy has a tan? He looks the type to burn not tan so maybe he'll be all red.
On Santa Barbara, (my fav soap opera) Lily & Ted got married, Ken has been arrested, Sophia's almost dying. It has been pretty good, I can't believe there's only 2 weeks left.
I have a headache now. I'm stopping for now.

What can I learn from that? Absolutely nothing, except for the fact that I was boy crazy, naieve, a tad insecure and loved watching TV. Pretty normal behaviour I think.

Ballerina Girl

2008-01-02T16:15:00.000-05:00

She is napping currently after a 8 day hiatus. What this means for us tonite is probably a late night. Maybe. Who knows anymore. I am debating on whether to go back to work tomorrow or stay home for one more day with Samantha or maybe drop her off at my mil's so I can get a few errand done. I'm leaning towards the last option.

This dress is what Samantha pulled out of her closet this morning and decided to wear on one of the coldest mornings on our way to buy more wires for yesterday's saga. She told me she loves wearing dresses. So unlike her mommy. Although her wanting to be a ballerina is definetly following in my footsteps. I miss my ballet days and more so the ballerina body I had way back then. Diet today wasn't too bad. Although right now I am craving some sugary stuff.

Headaches

2008-01-01T21:33:00.001-05:00

My husband considers me to be somewhat of a technological expert when it comes to hooking up any electronics in our house. He's right, but when you have a 2 year old around, electronic devices that are supposed to be up to date with today's technology and a husband that is huffing and puffing and supposed to be keeping your child occupied what was supposed to be a one hour job tops turned into a 4 hour job. It's still not complete. Wires that worked with our old DVD player are not compatible with our new state of the art DVD recorder. Which blows my mind. Our satellite receiver has picture but no sound because we need another wire in order to bypass the new Rogers HD box that my husband had to get. Although I am enjoying watching some of the channels in HD and getting the 5.0 Dolby sound. But the frustration and headaches today nearly killed me. I was ready to chuck everything out the door. I now know why audio & vid techies charge so much to set up your system. It's one job I never want to do again.

As to the weight loss challenge, it started off well this morning. Asian pear, musli crackers and coffee for breakfast. By 11am though I was starving and after this afternoon's stress, muffins, sour cream & onion chips and two peanut butter sandwiches have been consumed along with a plate of pasta. Yes it's starting off well ;-).

It's Been Awhile

2007-12-31T17:01:00.001-05:00

It's been so long since I last posted but this Christmas holiday has got me beat. It's funny but when I read about people having a relaxing Christmas holiday I laugh. Ours was go go go. I guess we took advantage of being off work since the 24th to get things done around the house, see our friends and family and just keep busy with Samantha. We had our Christmas party at our house on the 22nd and since that day it was go go go. I did that artichoke dip recipe and I found out that cutting artichoke hearts into fine pieces is a long process but thankfully about 5 minutes into that job I remembered that somewhere I had a mini food chopper which did the job in 3 minutes!

The next day we had friends over and it was nice to see Samantha playing with their kids, even though they were much older. She enjoyed following them around and they loved reading to her and playing with her.

After that Christmas Eve with my mom, Christmas day with my inlaws, and Boxing Day with my dad. I don't even feel like writing about it. That's what happens when posting is scarce. Everything gets saved up for a massive post and even then I've lost the energy to post about it. What I need is a laptop so that I can post at whatever time I please. I'm always composing posts in my head and I never find the time to transfer them over. This actual post I wrote while playing with Samantha on paper. Also the fact that in the past 8 days or so Samantha has napped only twice. Makes for great evenings as she goes to sleep around 7 but by then I'm wiped. Are there any 2 year olds out there that can entertain themselves for more than 10 minutes, and that's not counting the TV? Right now Samantha is watching her boyfriend, Diego save the penguins, while her pasta is cooking and I'm typing. She had her regular nap today thankfully as it's New Year's Eve and we're going to my brother in law's house where hopefully we can stay until at least 10:30. Although truthfully I'd rather be at home snuggling on the couch with a good book or movie.

Speaking of books I have 5 of them on my current reading list and at the snail's pace that I'm going I should be done by next October.

The Mistress of the Art of Death by Arianna Franklin (currently reading right now)

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (got for my birthday)

The Rapture of Canaan by Sheri Reynolds (got for my birthday)

Lord John & the Brotherhood of the Blade by Diana Gabaldon (picked this one up at her book signing in September)

Nefertiti by Michelle Moran

We've also been organizing the clutter that we keep accumlating in rooms, mostly by me. Samantha's toys were pretty out of control. I finally put away toys that she doesn't play with anymore as well as the toys she received this year that she's still too young for. We got this neat system from Ikea and it really helped with the clutter and walking through the room much more easier and less likely to step on something and go sprawling. Not that that's happened to me ;)

Joe's project this week was putting together a new TV console so his anal obsessive personality can watch TV in peace and not worry about the 150 wires that he sees behind the TV. He's been bugging me about those wires for at least a year now and finally he went out and got the TV stand so it all can be hidden. Now I just have to find the time to hook up all 4 units.

Enough for now, it's almost time to go to my brother in law's for the night, hopefully in the New Year I'll try to write more often. Especially about the new goal I've set for myself, again, in the weight loss department. 15lb by August. Do you think it can be done??

Yummy Yummy

2007-12-17T21:27:00.000-05:00

I'm one year older today, or perhaps let's make that one year wiser and full of new experiences. Today was a regular day, went to work, came home, Samantha was in her usual Monday self; not hungry & cranky. My mom came over, she baked a cake so we had that after dinner, and now it's 9:30pm and Joe is upstairs with Sam for the 2nd time attempting to put her to bed. Seriously, this bed time thing is killing us, I don't know what we're doing wrong but lately it's been taking us a long time to get her to sleep. Yet with my mil, and my own mom it's usually a breeze. What gives?

I was at a party on Saturday night at my neighbour's house and one of her friend's made an amazing artichoke dip. I could've eaten it all night long. She gave me the recipe so I'm sharing it here with all just in case anyone is having a party in the upcoming weeks. I know I'll be making it this Saturday for our own Christmas party. Here it is

2 cans quartered artichoke hearts (chop finely when preparing)
2 cups mayonnaise
4 cloves garlic (finely minced)
8 tbsp. parmesan cheese
2 tsps. paprika sprinkled on top

Mix ingredients together and put in a baking dish. Sprinkle paprika over top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 min. Serve HOT! Nice to serve with Stacey's pita chips from Costco.

Recipe also cross posted here!

Looks like they got it right!

2007-12-16T14:08:00.001-05:00

Looks like the weather forecasters got it right. About a foot and a half of snow so far and still falling. Needless to say we've been housebound all morning and for the rest of the day!

My favourite cousin, Beatriz who lives in Sao Paulo, is coming to spend 2 mths with us on Jan.7, she's never experienced snow so I sent her these 2 pictures just to freak her out a little! I can't wait until she arrives!

The Glass is Half Full

2007-12-15T14:40:00.000-05:00

With Christmas coming up soon I've been reading a lot of posts from moms around the world with so much positive energy in them. It made me reflect on my own postings and how half the time they seem so negative. I find I'm always complaining about one thing or another. The funny thing is that if you meet me in person I'm generally the most upbeat person around. At work people always used to wonder why I looked so happy. I don't get those comments much now. Perhaps lack of a good night's sleep makes me look unhappy. But seriously I really should start posting some positivity around here. I know it's my blog and I can write what I want but down the road I'd like to come back and read some happy things for once. So today will be a happy post, focusing on the good that's around me.

This morning we went to McDonald's for breakfast. Samantha was in heaven eating her little pancakes and her cheese strings. She was chatting up a storm and in great spirits! A welcoming change from other mornings. She had own a new pair of jeans and her running shoes and when I put on her winter coat my heart skipped a beat because I could see the "big girl" coming out in her. Slowly she's changing into a little girl and not staying the baby that I know.

After McD's we hit the grocery store for some major shopping, we had bare cupboards at home. Our one grocery store for about 20 new subdivisions wasn't too crowded so we were able to get it done quickly. After that a quick stop at the liquor store we were witness to about 6 bottles of vintage red wine breaking! The guy we think did it snuck away pretty quietly as we didn't see him after the employees came to clean up.

Tonite our neighbours are having a Christmas party and we've been invited. My mil is coming over to watch Sam. We're just next door so shouldn't be a problem.

We are waiting for some huge storm that's supposed to drop about 20 inches of snow. I am very doubtful of weather forecasters but Joe is adamant that it's coming. He even went to get gas for the snowblower as he's so confident that we are waking up to huge mountains of snow tomorrow. Hopefully he's proven wrong. But if not it will make for a fun morning of snow shovelling and sledding around the neighbourhood. We are in a snowbelt here north of Toronto and when we get snow we get a lot of snow! It is nice in a crazy fun way.

Tomorrow evening we have Joe's cousin's son 8th birthday. What does that make him in relation to us? I think second cousin. It's at another one of those play centres at 5pm. Also Joe's dad is supposed to arrive from back from Italy in mid afternoon but if this supposed storm arrives who knows if he'll be delayed.

Well I think that's enough recapping of my weekend. Not the kind of post I wanted to write, in my head I have a lot of thought provoking posts that I'd like to write but the mood hasn't struck me yet.

Happy weekend everyone!

Gifts in the Mail!

2007-12-14T15:58:00.001-05:00

Awhile back I participated in the Secret Ornament Exchange that was organized by Julie. I got two beautiful ornaments in the mail today in the cutest Santa box and one of the nicest Christmas cards I've seen in a long time! Edie over here sent them to me!!! Thanks!

2007-12-12T19:53:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've been busy at work trying to get a lot done before our Christmas deadline and once I get home I don't have time until after 10pm and by then the mood to write is gone. I've been doing a lot of posting in my head. Just can't seem to find the time to write it down.

December is flying by, every weekend we have someone to visit or a party to go to. It doesn't help that out of most of our friends we're the only one with a child and they often seem to forget that fact. Thankfully we have my mom and my inlaws to rely on but they have lives too. So we've had to turn down a lot of offers, which in some cases hasn't been that bad. Christmas this year will be busy. Christmas Eve my mom will be spending with us, and that has already gotten me feeling nervous as the tension between her & Joe is pretty obvious sometimes. Christmas Day we go to my inlaws and on Boxing Day we will visit my dad. I am seriously thinking that in a couple of years we should go away for Christmas. Nice warm weather, palm trees, and no crazy Christmas family gatherings.

Samantha is definetly in the middle of the challenging two's. Lately everything seems like a struggle, while at the same time she is such a cute fun little girl to play with. But ask her to do something for mommy or daddy and she turns into a no no no girl. It's frustrating but I'm hoping the phase will pass, I hope, I pray.

Last night I went out with the guys and gals of MBT. It was great meeting everyone and finally putting a face to so many of the blogs I love. Such a diverse group of people, with different thoughts and opinions, different jobs in life but all coming together and hanging out. I would have never had this opportunity to meet so many great people if I had not started blogging.
Who knew?

It's 12:49pm as I'm writing this here at work and I still haven't gone for lunch. I keep trying to leave but I keep getting phone calls and emails. Now I'm waiting for one more call and then I'm off to grab something to eat.

Christmas Cookies

2007-12-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

I am finally feeling better after last week's flu/cold/cough. Still coughing but no longer feeling like I got hit by a truck. Let's hope I can make it through the winter without getting sick again.
When I was in university I did a lot of volunteer work in a kindergarten class in a school in Mississauga. I was there for at least 75% of my week. For almost 4 years, by the end of my fourth year there I was teaching the class at times. It was such a wonderful experience. I still have a lot of photos of class trips I took with the kids and when I look at them now I'm reminded of the fact that those kids are now about 16 or 17!!! I even looked up one of the kid's name's on Facebook and there he was, it was so weird remembering him as such a cute little boy and here he was all grown up. But I digress, the senior kindergarten teacher that I worked for, Dolly Fox, was such an amazing teacher. She was even featured in Today's Parent yearly best teacher award. I wish I could Samantha to that school just so she could have her for kindergarten. Mrs. Fox had the most amazing sugar cookie recipie that we would use at Christmas time. I would make these cookies and package them off in little Christmas tins that I would pick up at the dollar store and send them off to all my friends. Obviously I had a lot of time on my hands. I found the recipie last week in one of my old books and thought I'll try them again this year and thought to post the recipie for anyone who's interested.

Rich Sugar Cookies

1 cup sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 tsp vanilla
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter
3 eggs
3 1/2 cups flour

Cream butter & shortening until fluffy. Gradually add sugar mixing well. Add eggs one at a time mixing well after each addition. Stir in vanilla. Add flour, baking powder and salt to the mixture. Mix well. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours or until firm. Roll out on floured surface and cut with cookie cutters. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 375F for 6-8 minutes.

Enjoy.

I knew it wouldn't last.

2007-11-26T10:23:00.001-05:00

Looks like there's no more daily postings for Noblopomo. It started on Friday, my day off from work. For some reason most Friday's that I'm home Samantha doesn't nap. I can't figure out if she's just too excited having me home that day or what. We had a successful morning in that I took Samantha to cut her hair and it was the first time she didn't cry and actually smiled at the lady doing the cutting. We came home had a good lunch, played and then went up for naptime. No go. No nap. After 45 minutes of trying I plopped her down in the bathroom while I took a shower. We had a wedding to go that night. Later I drove her to my mom's and came home in time to leave for the wedding. We got home after midnight so there went Friday's posting. Saturday we woke up early to go help friends of ours move into their new home. We thought we would be home by 1 as we were told it was just a few boxes and a TV. Yeahhhh. Try about 50 boxes, 2 TVs, countless little pieces of furniture and a full bedroom set. We got home by 4, I was completely wiped. I had a little too much to drink the night before and I wasn't feeling 100%. I rushed to my mom's to pick Samantha up and came home fed her dinner, and then my brother & sister in law with their 2 kids came by around 7 and stayed until 11:30. I was sooooo pissed. You see their 2 kids are angels....meaning that nothing phases them...Samantha however if she doesn't nap well during the day or is under the weather does not play well with others after 7pm. So that night Samantha had a cold and didn't nap too good at my mom's so it was a night of Samantha crying at intervals because her cousin was sitting in her high chair or playing with her toy or who knows what else. I was upset because I think any other person would see this and perhaps make it an early night, say around 9:30. But nope my BiL & SiL didn't seem to notice anything at all and would just laugh when Samantha was crying and I felt like I was going to pass out. So by the time they left it was past midnight. No Saturday posting. Sunday rolls around and I had not slept the entire night, I had felt nauseous and this continued the entire day, I only slept while Samantha napped and the rest of the time was still on Mommy duty as Samantha only wanted me. Even Joe commented that I must not really be feeling well as I didn't go near the computer the entire day. So there went Sunday's posting. Now it's Monday morning, I took the day off work to rest, although I can feel the laundry calling out my name and the grocery store as well. So I guess the November challenge is officially over.

The First Snowfall

2007-11-22T21:51:00.001-05:00

All Aboard

2007-11-21T17:07:00.001-05:00

Royal York, Old Mill, Jane, Runneymede
St George, Museum, Queen's Park
Summerhill, St Clair, Davisville, Eglinton

Yesterday morning I took the subway down to check out the rally. I
hadn't been on the subway in about 2 years but the sights and sounds never change. There's that warm wind that you feel when you first enter the station accompanied by that undescribable scent. I can never pinpoint what it really smells like, something like old newspapers, but the smell is the same no matter what season. I remember being young and travelling the system with my mom, we had just moved to Mississauga and didn't have a car so we often took the subway down to Bloor West, the old Simpson's on Queen or Honest Ed's.

Does anyone remember the red subway cars that the lights went on and off at certain points, with the aqua green vinyl seats? I remember those cars so vividly. I was about 8 years old and I can still recall telling my mom that I knew all the stations on the Bloor line by heart, and that at some point I wanted to stop at each and every one of them.

It's been over 20 years and I've travelled all 3 lines now, the only exception being the new line at Sheppard that goes east. Perhaps one day. Unfortunately our system does not compare to subway systems in other countries in terms of where you can go. The "metro" in Paris is amazing. I think there's over 250 stations. Anywhere you want to go the Metro will take you. Same with the London system I've been told. I've been on the New York subways and contrary to many people I've spoken with I've never had a bad experience. The platforms may be hot as hell while you're waiting, in the summer, but the cars are all air conditioned.
I can only hope that Toronto will get on the ball one day and expand
our system. I don't know if that will ever happen, judging by the length
of time it took to create the new Sheppard line and the dollars I don't think we will ever compare to systems in other countries.
Does anyone have any subway stories they wish to share?

2007-11-20T23:11:00.000-05:00

Keeping in mind that I am supposed to post everyday, I had a wonderful post in my head about my subway ride today that I was supposed to write up at work but didn't get around to it. I'll post it tomorrow. I'm going to bed, wiped, over and out.

...

2007-11-19T22:24:00.000-05:00

Day 19. I'm such a lazy person sometimes...or rather that I'm not that great of a thinker in the evening hours...I try to write some of my posts during the day at work and then post them when I get home but sometimes I don't get around to it. Then night comes and I spend my time reading blogs and then realize that I still have to post for tonite.

So the weekend was great. I was a little intimidated at first. I mean 9 women doing these amazing pages in their scrapbook with all these neat little gadgets and tools, it was quite the sight. But I got into it after an hour or so. To me it was like designing a room, you pick your one item, pick your colors and accesories and start designing. I don't know if I'll make the time to do it on my own at home but I wouldn't mind getting together once or twice a year to do it amongst friends.

It was good to spend time with my girlfriend from work, we had lots of laughs and really enjoyed ourselves. I wrote about her here previously and how we recently became friends again due to an argument that was completely my fault. But I think we are rebuilding our friendship and it makes me glad. I think having a girlfriend is so important. So I'm glad that I went if only to create a deeper friendship with her. I missed her during the years that we didn't speak.

What else....tomorrow is this event here, a family fun protest against toxics in baby bottles, that's taking place at Queen's Park. I plan on attending. Is anyone else in the Toronto area going?

A Little R n R at the B n B

2007-11-18T21:41:00.000-05:00

Back from my "scrapbooking weekend". Amazing time. Returned refreshed and ready to start the week. Some pictures of where we stayed, Selwyn Shores BnB, and my first attempts at scrapbooking.

A Scrapbooker I am not, A Scrapper maybe ;-)

2007-11-16T00:13:00.000-05:00

It's a little after midnight but right now is the only time I have to post for today as I'm going away for a scrapbooking weekend. I mentioned it way back here before. I'm not a scrapbooking person but I thought what the hell it's a weekend away so I'm going. If I manage to get anything done it'll be a miracle.

I just thought of something, I won't be able to post here on Saturday and god knows that my husband won't do it for me, but I will have a post up on Saturday over here, so I'm counting that as my post for Saturday in this whole insanity post every day for November. Happy weekend everyone!

Brought to you by the number 8

2007-11-15T23:34:00.000-05:00

It's 11:34pm, I've got a half hour and nothing to post, until I was tagged, thank the gods, by my neighbour to the east, Don Mills Diva. Here goes:

8 Things I'm Passionate About:

1. Samantha
2. Saving my marriage from crumbling...joking, sort of, but it is getting better.
3. My love for animals
4. Interior design
5. Music
6. Driving...I love to drive, it actually destresses me.
7. Reading
8. Working on this blog

8 Things I often Say

1. That's it! Samantha has taken to saying this now
2. What the hell? or f*ck
3. Sorry......I always seem to be apologizing
4. Ok I'll do it
5. Go to sleep
6. What should I make for dinner?
7. Why aren't you sleeping yet?
8. What time are you coming home?

8 Books I've Read, or that are currently on my nightstand waiting to be read

1. Stuck in Downward Dog by Chantel Simmons
2. that Post it book....Life on the Refrigerator Door
3. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
4. Nefertiti by Michelle Moran (waiting)
5. Mistress of the Art of Death (Arianna Franklin)
6. October by Richard B Wright am trying to finish this but am having a hard time
no 7 and 8

8 things I want to do before I die

1. Volunteer work
2. conquer my fear of flying
3. visit Ireland
4. buy a cottage
5 see an old boyfriend of mine who means the world to me but haven't seen him in over 12 years
6. tell a certain someone in my life what I really think of him and how he really f*cked my head up for a period of time
7. drive an F1 race car
8. spend a whole summer relaxing by a lake with a book

8 songs I can listen to over & over

1. Panama by Van Halen
2. Paradise by Tesla
3. Hair of the Dog by Nazareth
4 Tangerine by Led Zeppelin
5. Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths
6. Temple of Love by Sisters of Mercy
7. Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
8. When you were Young by The Killers

8 Things I look for in friends

1. Humour
2. Loyalty
3. Patience
4. Ability to like me for who I am
5. Non judgemental
6. Fun
7. Understanding
8. Cash...joking

8 things I've learned in the past year

1. going back to work has been a good thing for me
2. marriage takes 2 people to work it
3. sometimes adults still behave as if they're in high school
4. losing weight is not as easy as I thought it would be...no really?
5. am still as sarcastic as ever, although trying not to show it as much
6..just when I thought things would get harder they get a little easier
7. feeling restless is not an excuse for looking to move
8. be happy with what I have and not what I could've had...

Thanks DMD!

Tagging Motherbumper, Something Baby Blue and Urban Mummy if you guys need something to write about!

First or Only?

2007-11-14T17:31:00.001-05:00

I work with a lot of women in my team and around me. Most of these
women I've come to discover are of a traditional nature in the sense of
family and what looks right in the eyes of others. Since my return to
work after being home for 2 years the questions of when baby #2 is coming have begun, sometimes at least 3 times a week. So of course with all this questioning to me it makes me sit here at my desk and think. I
think of the reasons to have another baby and I think of the reasons not
to. And so my days go on in this fashion. Am I being selfish in not
wanting another baby, or am I taking away an experience that would
enrich Samantha's life?
On Saturday as we drove to Niagara Falls I was in a cheery mood, partly
due to the fact that we were having some time for ourselves. This
cheery mood led to me talking about a second child and that I was possibly coming around to the idea. My God, seeing Joe's face was as if he had seen God himself. Let's just say he was ecstatic. As you can see he
definetly wants a second one. He was so happy for the rest of the day
that I had given him some hope. And it's true for the day I was into
the idea myself, seeing all those cute onesies, knowing that Samantha
will have someone to play with, it all made sense to me.
But now I'm back to the idea of being happy with one. I'm in a good
place right now with Samantha, despite those killer tantrums, we're
communicating, having fun, and life is good. Marriage is coming back on
track, slowly but things are getting better. Having a second would throw
everything back in the air. Or not. I don't know. I had a difficult
time with Samantha, like most mothers, but it was such a dark time I'm
not sure I want to relive it. Oh and the morning sickness, utter
wretchedness, I remember when I was in the throes of it I said to Joe I
never want to experience this again. This is such a tough decision for me.
In my heart I truly am happy with only one. At the same time I don't
know if I'm being selfish in my thinking or if Samantha will be
missing out on something. I can't decide and not sure when or how I will.

Good Tidings in the mail

2007-11-13T09:51:00.000-05:00

I love Christmas. When I first got married, or maybe even before when I was dating Joe I thought every year I would buy a pretty ornament for the tree and one day I'd have a beautiful collection. Ummm yeah never materialized. So this morning as I was browsing through my favourite blogs I came upon a comment here which led me to this post here by Julie where she's organizing a Christmas ornament exchange. I thought what a great idea, so if anyone is interested please check it out!

It Never Ends

2007-11-12T19:08:00.000-05:00

Joe and I were both home today and we spent the day painting baseboards and door trim. Yes exciting. Joe is someone who cannot sit still while I can take my time in doing things around the house. As much as I love designing and decorating I'm much more quick to point out what others can do to their home rather than do it in my own. But we have hired someone to paint our hallway, upstairs and downstairs. Joe caved in to hiring someone as we have a monstrosity of a cathedral ceiling in the foyer which he wasn't keen on painting himself. So we saved a few bucks by doing the baseboards and door trim ourselves. The guy is coming on Wednesday and we're still undecided on a paint color. We have 4 swatches on the wall and we keep staring at them and cannot decide. The kicker is we've had them there since morning but every time the light changes so does the color and the one we like in the morning we're not too happy with in the evening. Anyway...that's the post today the oh so important design dilemna. Bad sarcastic me.

Ummmmm

2007-11-11T15:25:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday afternoon, I'm lazy, cranky and can't put my thoughts into words...duhh what else is new...will attempt later on tonite at more coherent writing and thoughts...

Run for the Border

2007-11-10T23:45:00.000-05:00

Today we drove to Niagara Fall, NY to take advantage of our strong dollar. We've gone cross border shopping many times and have finally figured out the what not to do's when coming back into Canada. But first, the shopping. We went to the "Fashion Outlet Mall" on Military Trail which isn't far from the border. They have a lot of name brand stores; Polo, Burberry, Coach, Ann Taylor, Guess, Banana Republic, Calvin Klein. And they have good children's stores too; Gap Kids, The Children's Place, Osh Kosh and my favourite Carter's. The biggest savings were in the children's clothing. I had purchased a turtleneck 2 weeks ago for Samantha at Baby Gap for about $15, I found the same one here for $2.99. I picked up some super soft cotton onesies from Carters for $15.99 for 5. Winter boots at Osh Kosh for $20.00. Needless to say most of the shopping was for her. I did pick up a winter vest from Gap for $20.00 and a wool poncho from another store but I was too lazy to shop for me, it's easier to shop for Samantha.
So back to our strategy at the border. Honesty is the best policy. Especially now with our strong dollar if you've bought stuff but tell the customs guy you bought nothing for sure they will pull your car over. So anyway usually when we go we bring an overnight bag with some toiletries and our own clothes. If we buy anything for ourselves we take all the labels off, spritz a little perfume/cologne and put it in the bag and for good measure Joe puts one his underwear on top. Heehee most custom guys that we've seen generally just peek under his underwear and really aren't into lifting it up. I usually keep one item out for me and I keep all of Samantha's stuff. We have our receipts handy for those items. And when they ask if we bought anything we say yes, my item and all of Samantha's items. In the past with our weak dollar they would ask to see the reciepts and let us go on. Last night they pulled us over. But hey we were hiding nothing, except for Joe's items in his overnight bag with the carefully placed underwear on top. So we got out of the car and watched as they went through our trunk. The funniest thing was watching 2 burly men going through my receipts and saying, "Osh Kosh, check, Baby Gap, check" and I could see them open up the overnight bag and they didn't even look through it. Then we were on our way home, minus the stop at the casino we were lost most of the savings we made shopping. But we can't resist the casino. All in all a good day. Tomorrow morning we go pick up Samantha at my mom's. And a post later about my decisions on the #2 child.

Do You Remember?

2007-11-09T15:19:00.000-05:00

Can we remember what brought us together, what were our dreams and hopes, what did we share that made life unbearable and empty without one another, what words and actions did we do that brought us to this day 4 years ago when those 4 little words with so much meaning were said? I hope we can. I hope we can remember a little of the past and bring all those memories with us into the future so we have something to hold onto when times are tough as they've been lately.

I know most people, or at least most men out there, don't remember the day they became engaged but I do. I know Joe won't remember this day unless I mention it but that's ok. In my heart I remember the day as clear as a bell, and it's those memories that I hold onto to help me on this slippery slope that I feel like I'm forever sliding down and trying to get back up.

Let's Get Physical

2007-11-08T18:15:00.000-05:00

Last night we were browsing through our satellite TV's radio stations and we stopped on one station which was playing 70's disco classics, Samantha was standing on the couch and immediately started dancing. It was the funniest thing she had one hand up in the air and was swaying her hips to the music like she was John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. I wish I had my camera handy to record this. Lately she's started dancing a lot more. Joe and I both looked at each other and said we should enroll her in some dance classes at the community center when she's older, she'd probably enjoy it.
Guess she takes after her mommy. I was in ballet for most of my
childhood and teen years. I stopped when I was 19 and starting university and didn't want to go to my classes anymore as I'd much rather be hanging out at the university. So I dropped out of my dance school much to the dismay of my dance teacher. I still have the letter my teacher wrote to me encouraging me to return. But the wonderful freedom of hanging out with friends in the lounge area or in the library, pub nights and lazy evenings were too much. I never returned. As I sit here now at my desk at work I long to return to those days. When I look at pictures of me back then you can see the muscle in my legs, the long and slender torso, the graceful arms. I even looked taller when in reality I'm a shortie. Today one of my co-workers, who's very fit and into yoga,
strength training and just a general well sense of being, stopped by my
desk and was giving myself and another co worker a mini lesson on various yoga positions. I tried a few and wow they were tough but you can really feel how much of a workout you'd get. It really inspired me to
perhaps try to incorporate a few of the moves into a small routine each
day at home and maybe if I got lucky to get some free time in the evening to take a yoga class. I'd really like to get fit again, not only to lose some weight but to feel good again. I'm always tired and you can see it in my face. Of course eating well is another thing I should be doing, but when those small Halloween chocolate bars are sitting there calling my name it's a tough thing to resist. I think when I get home tonite I'm throwing it all out. Can I do it? Can I become healthier and fit by next June?? I'm challenging myself today.

Premieres & Finales

2007-11-07T20:35:00.000-05:00

This morning as I was driving down the 427 I saw at least 3 cars with a
lot of snow all over them. Wow it's only a matter of time before
winter arrives.

Last Sunday one of my favourite TV shows premiered for the new season; Amazing Race. I love this show. I love it for the different teams,
the rivalry, and for seeing all the different countries that are shown.
The first episode had the teams travelling to Ireland which is one
country that is at the top of my list to visit. I haven't gotten into
any other new shows other than the premiere of Design Inc with Sarah
Richardson and The Style Dept. Every Tuesday evening between the hours of 8-9pm you can find me watching those 2 shows. I cannot tell you how much I love Sarah, she has such a way of desigining a space that really inspires me. I would love to hire her to decorate my home.

Through the 2 years that I've been blogging I've come to read so many
blogs and it's often similar to a great TV show that you watch over the
years and enjoy and it's that great TV show that ends or is cancelled
or goes on hiatus. Like Seinfeld, Freaks & Geeks or Sex and the City.
You hope that they come back for one more wrap up or as in the case of
Sex and the City a movie is made to further update their fans.
Yesterday another one of my personal favourite blogs has taken a hiatus for the winter, hopefully she'll be back for spring. Jen Lawrence of MUBAR has hibernated into the comforts of her home for the winter. I've read her blog for 2 years since discovering her through her site for
parenting around Toronto. I've loved reading about her children, her amazing shopping finds, her book reviews and recently her experimentation with The Secret. I've never commented on her site but I will miss it. She joins Kristin, who now writes over at Parent Dish with her amazing writing, and Sandra who had such a way of pulling you into her stories and inspiring readers with her accomplishments as writers who I'll miss.

On another note a small window into my personality. I love taking these types of tests. I always wish I could get my husband to do one as I'm curious as to where he falls but he has no patience.

Kicked

2007-11-06T22:50:00.000-05:00

Seriously is there anyone out there with a 2 year old that is getting their ass kicked by them??? Is it the age, lining of the planets, time change or just me? On weekends with us Samantha is pretty good most of the time, but when it's back to work and daycare lately the evenings are just pure torture at times. Last night after her bath I was combing her hair and their was a tangle in it and she took the comb out of my hand gave me the evil eye and yelled out, "that's it!!!" and threw the comb away. I was shocked but at the same time I could not stop laughing. Earlier she had called me stupid and I told her never to use that word again. So tonite I asked her to please put the vase back down on the table and she yells out, "don't use that word no!". The bedtimes lately are tough, we go from our bed to the spare bed and then to the rocking chair in her room, all in a span of an hour. Tonite she asked for water 3 times, then her Grover doll, and finally sleep. I kind of fell asleep too...so hopefully things will get easier eventually...off to read some more blogs and then to bed. Good night!

Eating and Eyebrows

2007-11-05T16:37:00.000-05:00

Today everything returns back to normal. Samantha's back in school
after her "runs" have finally run its course, my dad is settled in so
we're done dealing with that and Halloween has come and gone. The hour changed back yesterday and I was wondering if Samantha would be up at her regular time of 7am which now in the new hour would be 6am but thankfully this morning she kept on sleeping.
Today at lunch we ended up at one of my favourite places to eat in
North York. It's a tiny place that serves the most amazing Greek salad
along with chicken on a freshly baked foot long pita that's so warm and
tasty. It's delicious! The place is called Lanterna. It's on the Yonge
street strip just one block south of Steeles at the corner of Nipigon Ave & Yonge on the east side. The Greek salad comes your choice of small or large. Small is perfect to share between 2 people along with one of their foot long chicken in a pita cut in half between 2 people is the perfect lunch. Not too big that you're stuffed and just right to fill you up. Although my friends and I have been known to share the salad and then each of us eat her own foot long pita today we went in and just had the half size. The salad comes with feta and their dressing is just right; no vinegary tasting, just creamy and coats evey piece. Delicious.
This weekend we are planning on going to Buffalo for the day and
possibly spend the night in Niagara depending on whether I have enough points on my President's Choice card to score a free room. It's not like we have anything specific to buy but we're curious to see if we can find
anything that's worth buying. Knowing my shopoholic husband he'll find
something.
So...this Nablopome thing is tough, I know I said I'd do the alphabet
thing which would mean this post is brought to you by the letter "E".
E...well...the only thing that starts with E at that moment that I can
think of is eyebrows. Mine are horrible...if you don't get them shaped
every other week or so and you start doing it yourself things start
going wrong. Mine are at the wrong stage. Overplucked and trying to grow them out is tough...Geezz the things women go through.

Design

2007-11-04T20:40:00.000-05:00

Today we took the morning to go visit my dad at his new place out in the east end of Toronto. Samantha enjoyed herself so much. She ate without fuss, was chatty and giggly, a complete joy. A lot of times when we're at my inlaws or even my mom she's clingy and shy, we chalked it up to my dad's quietness. He's not one to fuss over her rather he'll sit and watch her and let her make the first move. He doesn't push himself on her. He waits and watches. It was nice to see their interaction.
On our way home we took a detour north to Richmond Hill, as Samantha had fallen asleep in the car, to see a new home that our friends had just purchased in a new subdivision. Not that I'm keen on moving to another subdivision but we were curious to see the models and prices. The models were nicely laid out and the exteriors were also attractive, but it is funny how the prices skyrocket from one part of town to another. These homes were almost $250,000 higher than ours and actually smaller in size. They came with a few more upgrades than ours did but nothing that I would even consider paying that price for unless they were in Toronto. And to boot they also were asking an extra $25,000 for a 45"lot size. Unbelievable. So this got us to thinking about doing some minor improvements to our home. Now that we've lived in the house for 3 years we have more of an idea on what works and what doesn't. So it looks like we'll be doing some more renos. It's actually not a big job at all but it will change the look of our family room. We have a half moon window above our fireplace that we want to close up so that we can put a flat screen TV above the fireplace and then be able to move our current humongous TV down to the basement. We then can move the leather couches to the waste of space formal living room and buy a nice comfy sectional for the family room. I have posted pictures here if anyone's interested in taking a look. So this is the plan, thankfully removing the window is not a hard job and we can do that part of ourselves since Joe's dad is in the construction business. The hard part will be finding the money to go and buy the TV and couches, but slowly I suppose it can be done, and I've always been good at finding a deal somewhere.

The Real Deal on Family

2007-11-03T14:30:00.000-04:00

When I first met my husband I was introduced to his brother and wife and I thought oh they seem nice, it'll be nice to go on "couple dates" with them. And we did and it was alright and through the years I've come to learn that Joe's family like to pussyfoot around each other and not really say if something's bothering them or not. Let's say they're not a "rock the boat" kind of family. Unlike my family, although here in Toronto it's only my parents (who are divorced) and myself, we don't let formalities get in the way of letting out our feelings. Which to me is a better way to live. But I digress, so our couple outings with my BiL & SiL were polite. Always a polite face on, nothing more than small talk. When her and I were alone together and the talk delved into something more personal you could never be too sure on whether she was being sincere in her words and expressions. To put it bluntly she seemed a bit fake to me. In her defense she's probably say I don't make an effort, which truthfully perhaps I don't, anymore. She's not the type of person I'd choose to be friends with if we were not related. I've always wished a had a sister in law that I could be real friends with, but my husband and I have come to the conclusion that it's just not to be. We can't quite put our finger on it but we think that they're kind of into themselves and not up to investing in a real relationship. I mean they screen their phonecalls and only return calls several days later, they're all for show really. Ahhh I could go on but I don't want to seem petty. I just wish things were different. This afternoon we're supposed to be going over to their house for a 2nd birthday party for my niece. Second because last week they held the party for her at one of those kiddie playrooms but the grandparents weren't invited as she felt they wouldn't want to come to a kid's party, funny thing is that last Sunday we found out that my inlaws weren't coming but that my mother in law was still making the food for the party! So Joe told his parents just come anyway. So later on in the evening they showed up at the party, the look on my SiL's face was priceless. When she called me yesterday to invite me to today's party she was kind of peeved that they had come because if she had known that they wanted to come she wouldn't be doing today's party at all. Especially since they are leaving for Florida tomorrow and have to get up early. And the only reason we are invited today is that Joe found out from his brother that her sister's are coming over, so I guess she felt the need to cover her ass. Ahhh family. She also specified the hours of the party and that basically she wants everyone gone by the time it's supposed to end. And she also told me that we didn't have to come if we don't want to seeing as we went to the first party last week. Sheesh..

It feels nice to rant. We will return to regular posting tomorrow.

Blankie or No Blankie

2007-11-02T11:16:00.000-04:00

I'm having a tough time wondering how to get Samantha to sleep with a blanket. Yes can you believe something so trivial is filling up the big space up in my brain. At the age of about one Samantha stopped sleeping with a blanket. She would get all tangled up in it and wake up in the middle of the night, this would happen about 3 or 4 times. So we took the blanket away. The heat is up higher in the house during the winter but lately I wonder wouldn't she feel more comfortable with one? I bought a fairly light comforter that's crib sized from Ikea, I think it's light enough that she won't get tangled up in it. My main fear is the waking up part at night. She sleeps fairly well now and I'm petriifed to do anything to disturb that, okay honestly I'm petrified to disturb my sleep. Hehe. My niece is 3 and from what I've been told doesn't sleep with a blanket either but I would like for Samantha to get used to the blanket thing again. It will be nice for when she one day moves to her big bed to sleep with one. Any thoughts out there on this? I'm probably needlessly wondering about this but I'm curious.

The good old days

And So It Starts

2007-11-01T18:16:00.000-04:00

Let the insanity begin. Today is the first day of blogging boot camp
as I like to call it. If you haven't heard of Nablopomo; it's a posting
mission; post everyday for the month of November. No breaks allowed,
no double posting, nothing! It's a great idea as for 30 days I get to
read posts everyday from some of my fav bloggers and if you're participating you might have a chance to win prizes! The downside, I have joined and now have to come up with my own posts. But onward I go. As I previously mentioned my idea was the ABC's, a letter of the
alphabet for each day and to write about something that starts with that
letter. Lame but at least it's a starting point if I get stuck.

Last night was Halloween. One of my favourite times of year. Samantha
was dressed as a cow. She's definetly entering into the "terrible
twos" as she did not want to put the costume on when I asked her to, only
when she was ready. It's not a fun start to the evening when Mommy's
already yelling put on your costume because we are supposed to be having fun. But once that was over Samantha had fun going from door to door and had a little bite of her Kit Kat too. I think the years will only
get better!

Last night was also my 2 year blogging anniversary. It's been an
amazing 2 years. When I started writing this I had no idea that it would
lead me to such wonderful women out there. I've been privileged to read
so many amazing experiences out there. It's become such a big part of
my life writing this blog and becoming friends with women from all
over, in person and virtual. The women I've come to read have inspired me to live differently, or to see things from a different perspective.
I've joined groups and gone out once or twice with some when I've never
been much of a joiner and have made friends. The whole point of starting my blog was to record my experiences with Samantha but now I have a place where not only can I write about her but to write about myself and how my life is changing. It's been a wonderful ride and one I don't think I'll be getting off of yet.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T19:21:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween!

Out of Breath

2007-10-29T22:43:00.000-04:00

I feel frazzled, tired and unable to write even the simplest of entries. It seems as though October flew by in a whirlwind and I haven't had
a chance to catch my breath.

It's not like we've been super busy doing wonderful and exciting things but rather I think most weekends in October were spent getting my dad's apartment ready. He arrives tonite. My mom and I went on Samantha's first "school" trip to the farm. She enjoyed the bus ride most of all. She was out of sorts that day, impatient, tired and fussy. While the other kids were having their lunch she wanted no part of it. I think her molars are coming in. On Saturday she developed a case of the runs and it's still going on. I think it's due to teething or because of the teething she has her hands constantly in her mouth and picked up some germs. Now she tells me that instead of doing "poo poo" she says, "Mommy I did a splatt". Very imaginative explanation!

November weekends seem to be shaping up to be busy as well. Friends of
ours (Samantha's godparents)asked us to go to Buffalo with them and
another couple in the second week of November for some cross border
shopping. The next weekend after that I am going away for the weekend to a bed and breakfast somewhere north of Peterborough with a girlfriend from work. The reason for the getaway; scrapbooking. I am not a scrapbooker. I've always admired those women with the patience for creating such beautiful pages but I've never been able to come up with the time or energy to do so. But when my friend told me they need 2 more women and the B&B is a nice place to relax and unwind I thought ok why not? My friend is bringing up most of the supplies so I picked up a few things here and there and we shall see what I can come up with that weekend. I think in my heart though I'm wishing I could just hang out and read a book. Weekend after that we have another wedding, this one is on a Friday night so at least it leaves the rest of the weekend free.

I hope the weather this year for Halloween is warm. I did hear that
the weather should be mild for the evening so that will be nice.
Samantha's going as a cow. She's very excited, she knows what she's going to be but I'm not sure if she understands the concept yet. I think she will after we knock on a few doors. That's the other dilmena in our
house, who gets to stay and give out the candy and who gets to go out with Samantha? Last year I stayed in, this year I though we could both go out and then come back and give candy out. I think it might work. But
then again judging from last year in our neighborhood it seemed most of
the dads went out together with the moms staying in. We shall see.

What a dry post. Have you ever written a long post but felt that you wrote about nothing at all? I cannot imagine how I will be posting everyday in
November for Nablopomo. At least it'll force me to post.

Leaving you all with some fall pictures of my favourite time of year.

Of Weddings and Heart Throbs

2007-10-15T21:52:00.000-04:00

It was a whirlwind weekend. My dad is returning to Toronto to live, again. So we spent all day Sunday getting his new place together. A lot of work setting up an apartment from scratch. We're still not done; it takes awhile putting together Ikea furniture. Especially when one of the people involved is slightly hung over from the night before. On Saturday we attended the wedding of a close friend. It was a cold day but the rain held off long enough for the bride and groom to take pictures. The reception was held at the Royal Ambassador Event Centre in Caledon, which bonus for us was a 10 minute drive from home! The food was delicious, the setting was beautiful, and the company amazing. It was by far the best wedding I've been to. We drank quite a bit, ate quite a bit and literally danced the entire night. I haven't danced at a wedding since who knows when. When you're surrounded by good people times are so much more enjoyable. The wedding was very tastefully done; simple and elegant. The "bombonieres" or wedding favours were the nicest I've ever received.

Beautiful, simple, and the most important part useful! So love was in the air on Saturday which leads me to a tag by Alleycat of school girl crushes. When I sat down to write it I was surprised that most of my choices weren't too bad, there may be one or two that cause a little embarrasment but the rest I'd say were ok.

My Heart Throbs 1980-1985

Joan Jett. At the age of 10 in 1981 I joined her fan club. I'm sure I have my welcome letter somewhere. I'm actually surprised my mom helped me write the letter to her.

Eddie Van Halen; oh just looking at his smile still makes me weak. This was my rock god before Nikki Sixx came along in 85.

Ralph Macchio; yes I was a big fan of him in The Outsider's and then Karate Kid. Enough said about that, wax on wax off.

Andrew Ridgeley; embarrasment #2, I was not a in the George Michael fan camp; I liked the other half of Wham!, Andrew. Yeah...

Nick Rhodes & John Taylor; before I became a metalhead, I was a Duranie, and even though my musical tastes later turned to hard rock, I always had a spot for them in my cassette player. Actually I was the first person in my elementary school wayyy back in 82 to know who they were. Maybe this fact will redeem me for my previous choices of Ralph & Andrew.

This was fun to do, especially while playing 80's music in the background!

Take Action

2007-10-15T17:03:00.000-04:00

Today is Blog Action Day; a day myself and MBT are using to promote awareness of harmful chemicals that are in products that we use everyday.

As I wrote before I suffered an allergic reaction to hair dye, which has left me very wary of using permanent hair dye ever again. The culprit in permanent hair dye is a chemical called para phenylenediamine (ppd). In my research I found that only in Germany, France, and Sweden have they banned this chemical. Everywhere else it is still present but because stats show that allergic reactions are rare manufacturers are not pushed to remove it.

So what's a girl to do? I've done the natural henna hair dye before but as I have quite a bit of gray it's not as effective in covering it up. I went out to the drugstores and looked at all the hair dye products before settling on this one. It is semi permanent and does not contain the chemical, but being semi permanent it will wash out and I will need to do it more often than had I returned to a permanent product. The box still gives the cautionary warning that if you've had a prior allergic reaction not to use the product but at this point all I kept seeing were the 2 inches of bad roots and decided to take my chances. I kept the product on for the required 10 minutes only for roots. I actually think the amount of time that the product was on my hair previously was what caused the reaction. Recommended time is 20-30 minutes and my stylist kept it on for 45 minutes. So I kept this solution on for only 10 minutes. The results were fine. My roots and gray were covered enough and it matched the color of the rest of my hair. Normally reactions occur 48 hours later and two days later I was still fine. So perhaps it was an isolated incident but not one I'd like to repeat again. If there was a petition to sign to remove harmful chemicals from hair dye I'd be on board for sure.

But there is currently a petition going around to ban Bisphenol A from plastics that you can sign here. Sandra does a great job explaining the issue surronding this harmful chemical here as well. Please take the time to sign the petition and educate yourself on the topic.

Come on and do it for us!

What I Now Know

2007-10-10T22:23:00.001-04:00

Breastfeeding. What I now know about it is that it's hard, tough, hurts and is a rollercoaster of a ride. I didn't expect this after Samantha was born. I wasn't told that it could hurt or that you wouldn't have enough milk or that your baby would want to eat every single minute of the day! I was prepared to breastfeed wherever I could though and didn't care what person saw. Except for my father in law, that was just too weird for me.
The wonderful women over here, have declared today The Great Virtual Breastfest and are encouraging all women to post pictures of themselves breastfeeding their child and if possible even doing a live feed of the event! Wonderful!
My story with breastfeeding was not a happy one unfortunately. I'm in a better place now and can write about it but at the time I was going through it it was a nightmare. While I was pregnant I had every intention of doing it. I was against bottlefeeding 100%. Then Samantha was born, she was placed at my breast right after and latched on quite well. Of course I don't think she was getting anything but the latch was there. After though things started going downhill. Once I was moved to my hospital room I immediately started feeling overwhelmed with having this baby. I cried for most of the two days I was there. Samantha was nursing but because my milk hadn't come in yet she was crying quite a bit and always wanted to nurse. At the time I didn't know it took a few days for your milk to come in and the night time nurse suggested I give her "sugar water" to tide her over. Combined with the fact that Joe was getting really frustrated with me and the so called no milk it was a tough time. I pumped for a bit at the hospital and slowly some milk was coming in.
I was discharged on Friday August 19 05, for those of you living in Toronto, you will remember this day as the one where there was a massive thunderstorm with lots of flooding. What should've been a 40 minute ride home turned into 3 hours of traffic mayhem with all roads leading to our home flooded. We got home finally and my mom was there waiting for us. Arguments ensued between her and Joe; about what I honestly cannot recall now, but their relationship now is polite. Not a good way to start your first day at home. My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks despite her and Joe not being on speaking terms. I think the stress of it all is what made the breastfeeding experience horrible. My milk came in finally but I was so tired and stressed that I felt I couldn't keep up with Samantha's feeding. I know realize that I was in the beginnings of a dark road ahead with post partum depression. This lead to a decrease in my milk supply. I had a lactation consultant come and she told me when I wasn't feeding Samantha to pump milk. Every hour when I wasn't feeding I was sitting on the couch pumping. Eventually I pumped so often that my left nipple actually tore off. Not fun. The lactation consultant told me I should start supplementing with formula as my milk supply was not high enough, I was also on domperidone which didn't help. I was so torn, I didn't want to do the formula but I wanted to give Samantha the best thing possilble. My mom and Joe continued to argue; my mom 100% bf and Joe was 100% formula. 4 weeks into this hell I was upstairs in the bathroom crying and I tried slitting my wrists with the sharp edge of a squeeze bottle. Yes I know that wouldn't work but I so wanted everything to just go away but I didn't have the actual courage to die.
After that day I started supplementing with formula and still breastfeeding. I continued breastfeeding until Samantha was about 8 months and then she wasn't interested and continued with the bottle. As I write this now I am convinced that I would've been able to successfully breastfeed if I had the support of my husband, my mother would lay off my husband and if I didn't have PPD. I also realize now that there is nothing wrong with using formula. But it took a long time of feeling guilty to overcome it. I guess you have to go through something before you can make a judgement about it.
So to all breastfeeding mothers out there; be strong and proud of what you're doing. Hold your head up high and feed your child whereever you are, it is your right to do so.

I've also joined this great woman and have gone pink for this month!

Dance the Night Away

2007-10-08T15:39:00.000-04:00

Cost of parking for the night: $5.00 after 6pm!

Cost of ONE beer and popcorn at the ACC: $18.50

Cost of two nosebleed tickets: $108.00

Cost of moving down 12 rows: free

Cost of seeing this and having it forever in your mind: priceless

Thankful For

2007-10-06T22:52:00.001-04:00

Memories

I'm Crazy I Know!

2007-10-05T23:23:00.000-04:00

I've decided to join this insanity of posting everyday for the month of November. This will be a challenge as ideas lately for posts have been very unimaginative. But I've come up with some sort of plan. The ABC's. Everyday will be a different letter of the alphabet and I'll have to write a post concerning me and that particular subject. Example A; Art. Ok I know it's not brilliant but at least it'll be something.

It's a not a Privilege its a Right!

2007-10-05T14:24:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot of controversy going on this last month concerning mothers breastfeeding in public and Facebook wanting to remove pictures of mothers breastfeeding. It's a sad society we live in where a woman is made to feel ashamed to feed her own child in public for fear of making someone uncomfortable or to not be able to display proudly her pictures of feeding her baby. I sometimes wonder why does it seem only in North America that we think this way. I know in Europe a woman breastfeeding is not even given a second glance, it is so natural.
So last week I wrote a letter to one of Toronto's free newspapers in response to letter written by a woman objecting to women breastfeeding their child in an open public space. You can read the original letter:

You’re allowed, but be discreet
Re: “Breastfeeding mom looks for YMCA apology,” Sept. 19:

This is in response to the mother who breastfed on a pool deck. Yes, you can breastfeed your baby at any time and in any place, but in the society we are in, she should have been discreet. Since other people might get offended, especially on a public pool deck, why didn’t she consider the fact theYMCA has a women’s change room? It didn’t mention in the article if she covered herself while breastfeeding her baby — then it’s a different story. I breastfeed my baby but I always make sure I cover myself and give consideration to others. She should not make a big issue about it. — JOCELYN

and my response here.

So what do you think? There's a great website started here about an issue that is a woman's right to do! Please check it out and steal a button to support the cause!.

A Contest for all Great Writers

2007-10-03T22:02:00.000-04:00

While at work and browsing the only internet site available to employees, CBC.ca, I came across a contest entitled Canada Writes. You can submit a blog post, a song, an ad copy, anything under 200 words for a chance to win. I'm passing along the link as I know there are so many good writers out there that are part of my daily reads and perhaps
would like to enter. Check out the deets here!

And considering that I'm the Queen of shy, since today is apparently delurking day, please don't be shy yourself and say hi!

Back in the 80's

2007-10-02T22:11:00.000-04:00

In late 1983 I became a "metal queen" ok princess; I was only 12. I discovered Def Leppard, Quiet Riot, Joan Jett, Twisted Sister, Van Halen and my all time favourite Motley Crue. Oh how I loved the "Crue". When I entered high school I had to wear a uniform but that didn't stop me from altering it to represent the music I loved. Tight faded jean jacket, black leather purse with a rabbit's tail hanging from it (oh my god is what I say now), teased and feathered hair and of course a pack of smokes in my pocket even though hehe I didn't smoke. What a picture I was. After school I would go in my room close the door and play my Shout at the Devil album until I went to bed. I knew all the words and the stories behind the songs. I created endless fantasies between me and Nikki Sixx; the bassist, in my diaries. I had a plan to move to Los Angeles and find him and marry him. Ahhh the delusional thinking of a 15 year old. My 3 bedroom walls were covered from floor to ceiling with posters of him until I was bribed at the age of 17 to take them down and my mom would get me a cat. This "love affair" with Nikki continued up until I graduated from high school. I still listened to them in university and even today but my obsession faded as I got older. Until last Friday when by chance I read in the newspaper that Nikki would be signing copies of his book at the Indigo bookstore. I was stunned, my chance to meet him had arrived after 23 years. So I dragged Joe down last Friday night and waited almost 2 hours in line to talk to him for 10 minutes. During those 10 minutes I felt 15 again, I seriously forget anyone was around me and didn't even turn around to take a picture. A meeting I'll never forget. He's 49 now, gasp, but still a head turner in my books. Tall and green eyed and very sweet and down to earth. Ok I'll stop gushing now but truly for me a moment I won't forget!

I See a Bunny

2007-10-01T21:41:00.000-04:00

The other night we all went off to have a quick and painless dinner at everybody's favourite family restaurant, Swiss Chalet and as we were sitting down two young girls in their 20's came and sat down across from us. One of the girl's had her back facing us and she had on those extremely low rise jeans where you could see her Playboy bunny tattoo. As we were eating, Samantha pipes up and says, "Mommy I see a bunny!". I look at Joe and he just shrugs his shoulders. So she said it another two times before I looked over and saw the girl's tattoo! I couldn't stop laughing. Thankfully she never heard Samantha, or if she did she'd learn to pull up her pants!

Do I Really Need One More Thing to Worry About?

2007-09-24T22:28:00.000-04:00

There's so much information in the world about things we can do to "be green" and give back to the environment, stop chemicals from being in our food and beauty products that sometimes it really makes you wonder if you know the truth of it all. Last year my husband and I started changing a few of our incandescent lightbulbs in our home to compact fluorescent ones (CFL) and then just last week my husband sends me an email on the dangers of CFLs. Great, do I believe the info or not. Read more here and tell me what you think.

The Name Game

2007-09-22T15:26:00.001-04:00

It's a Saturday afternoon, Samantha is napping, and we have a birthday party to go to in half hour. I think it's safe to say we'll be late. Samantha's days in her preschool are better now. She sometimes sheds a tear when Joe leaves her but quickly forgets and enjoy's the rest of her morning. Thankfully.

I picked this up from Nichole and thought it was something fun to do on this lazy Saturday afternoon.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) - Misty Accord

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) -Cookies n Cream Chocolate Chip

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) - G Gal

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) -Purple Horse

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) - Da Costa Rio

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Gal Ga

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) -The Blue Killer Koolaid

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) -Crispiano Karoly

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy) - Incanto Rockets

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) - Marques (My dad doesn't have a middle name)

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) -Danko Denver

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) - Autumn Daisy

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) -Strawberry Socky

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) -Toast Ash

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) -The Reading Thunder Tour

A Better Day

2007-09-11T19:57:00.000-04:00

Today was a better day, Samantha was happy entering the school and when I left she cried more than yesterday but when I called 20 minutes later she was happily painting a picture. I called again an hour later and she was playing in the sandbox. Joe dropped by a half hour before she was to be picked up and watched from the "spy" window. She played with another little girl, observed circle time from far away and painted another picture. Thank God!
I'm sure she'll cry again tomorrow but at least I know she's okay and will enjoy it. Thanks for all your comments; they really helped and made things seem so much better.

A Thousand Pieces

2007-09-10T21:18:00.000-04:00

My heart broke today in a thousand pieces. Samantha started her preschool today and it didn't go well. She was very excited about going. When we arrived in the parking lot she said, "Hurrah". Skipped in the building into her class. Then she saw 2 children crying. She became concerned and then unconsolable. I stayed with her for 15 minutes. She alternated between not crying and looking around and crying and clutching me. My heart was breaking. I was at the point of crying. The teacher said just go, we will call you in 20 minutes. So I left. Cried a river in the car and went to sit in the parking lot with Joe. We waited 20 minutes and called, she was still crying. We drove around to the back and parked far away and watched as the kids were outside. I watched my little girl run from the teacher to the door and back to the teacher holding her hand. I could make out her cries from far away and then she would stop. I saw the teacher wipe her nose with a kleenex. All the while tears running down my face, feeling like the worst person in the world for abandoning her. We went to pick her up and she cried harder when she saw me and wouldn't stop shaking. We left and went to a park to play for awhile and then home.
Later on in the day she did manage to tell me that at some point in the 40 minutes that she was there the teacher changed her diaper and that she was crying for mommy. Oh my. I wasn't sure if she was making the story up but when I looked at the diaper she was wearing it was a size 5 and Samantha wears a size 4.
In the evening though she said that tomorrow she won't cry. God help us tomorrow. I can't wait for this to pass. I know it will eventually but I think that this now is the hardest thing I've had to go through being a mother.

Soo Close

2007-09-09T15:37:00.001-04:00

My cousin was here visiting for 4 days on business from Brazil. Today was his last day here and he came over for lunch and told me such a story that made me starstruck. My cousin is very high up in an investment firm in Rio and one of the partners of the firm is a major film producer in Brazil. They travelled here to be part of the Toronto International Film Festival and went to a party last night on the rooftop of the Hyatt. While there my cousin's friend saw Gael Garcia Bernarl and they were invited to the VIP's of all VIPs and sat down at a table for a few drinks. And who do you think was there, sitting with my cousin drinking? Brad and Angelina. I grilled my cousin for at least 20 min. What were they wearing; Angelina a purple dress. My cousin said she looked stunning. What did they drink, what were they talking about etc etc. I'm so starstruck and jealous!!! According to my cousin, very down to earth and friendly. Well at least I hugged my cousin who shook their

hands. Ok I'll go die now.

Photos courtesy of Just.Jared

Brought to you by the Letter G!

2007-09-07T20:34:00.000-04:00

One of those quick memes stolen from Kittenpie. Take your first letter of your name and answer the following prompts. G in my case.

Famous Singer/Band: Goo Goo Dolls

Four Letter Word: Grab

Street: Gladstone

Color: Green

Gifts/Presents: Gemstones!

Vehicle: Grand-Am

Things in Souvenir Shops: Garbage

Boy Name: Grant

Girl Name: Gloria

Movie Title: Goonies

Drink: Gin

Occupation: Go-Go Dancer

Celebrity: George Clooney

Magazine: Glamour

US City: Galveston

Pro Sports Team: Green Bay

Fruit: Guava

Reason 4 Being Late to Work: Got drunk the night before

Something you give away: Gum

Things you Shout: Go to sleep!
Cartoon Character: Grover (does he count?)

Friday's Ramblings

2007-09-07T15:23:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading Life on the Refrigerator Door, thanks MM. When I opened the book I was surprised as the text really is only post it notes. I was thinking how good could it be but was pleasantly surprised. I sat down and in roughly 45 minutes had finished the book. The book tells the story of mother and daughter relationships via their notes left on the fridge in the span of a year and is honestly quite touching. A good and quick read. Not sure if I'd actually buy the book though. If anyone's interested in reading it, email me and I can send you the book!
My allergies today are horrible! Stuffed and runny nose and constant sneezing. I stopped taking my allergy pills but am considering starting up again.
The weeks are flying by now that I'm back at work. It's unbelievable.
Nomotherearth mentioned in her comment to me that I shouldn't start toilet training when there are big changes afoot. Yes! It's funny but in early spring I was saying to Joe that I'd only start training perhaps around December when Samantha was settled into her new routines. Ha and here I go and try right in the middle of me going back to work and her starting daycare soon. Uh yeah...how quickly I forget what I said earlier!! Thanks NoMo for reminding me.
Perhaps one of my all time fav authors, Diana Gabaldon, is having a book signing on Sept.15 at Indigo books at the Eaton Centre at 2pm. I cannot wait. Do you think I can bring all my books to get signed? Hahaha...ok just one!
We are very close to scoring tickets for Van Halen's concert on Oct.7. The guy we use gets amazing seats for lots of concerts. The last time Van Halen came in 2004 we had 5th row floors!! Yes I know Eddie Van Halen is getting old but he's still a god, to me at least!
This is a pretty lame post...but it's all I got right now...I'm too busy constantly wiping my nose.

The Downward Spiral

2007-09-05T20:48:00.000-04:00

Samantha's the type of child that when she finds something she enjoys doing she takes it to the extreme and it gets uncontrollable in the end. Case in point tonite's adventure. About a month ago I bought her a mini Backyardigan's toilet seat to go on top of the regular one. She showed no interest in it other than sitting on it in the playroom. Tonite I thought let's try it again. I should've known it wasn't a good night as she was a little cranky and fussy. Actually since I started work she's quite clingy in the evenings with me, which I think will pass. I hope. Anyway, she finally agreed to sit on the seat with her pants on. Much praise and stickers were given. She then agreed to sit on it with no pants and diaper and proceeded to ask for some toilet paper upon which she then stood up on her stool and wiped her bum. Well! From then it was pure fun and games, up down up down up down, pull toilet paper, throw it in, pull toilet paper, throw it in, with numerous flushings in between. After a good 20 minutes I said, "Alright let's put on your diapers and pants and go outside for a bit". Whoaaaaa...meltdown...toilet brushes were thrown in the toilet then at me, along with rolls of toilet paper, a magazine, ending with Samantha peeing on the rug in the kitchen. Yeah..toilet training is going to be so much fun!

A World Away

2007-09-02T21:57:00.000-04:00

We never made it out to the CNE last night but took advantage of the beautiful weather and took Samantha for her first trip to Centre Island. I had been many times when I was younger and was looking forward to seeing her face on the ferry ride over. She loved it. I think it was honestly her favourite part. We had a good time on the island. It was jam packed being that it was a long weekend. We went on the carousel at Centreville, where I learned that it was one of only 30 carousels left in the world that was built in the early 1900's. Sam liked it so much we went on 3 times. We then took a walk around the island just enjoying the weather. We searched for "Franklin's Garden" but unfortunately we couldn't find it and neither could the 5 employees we asked! It's a shame it was so poorly marked. Either that or we're extremely blind. Next year we shall try again. Regardless a wonderful day was had by us.

September 1st 07

2007-09-01T15:31:00.000-04:00

Summer is "officialy" over. Maybe not weather wise but by looking at the calender and seeing that it's Labour Day weekend that always signals the end of summer. Kids are going back to school next week, some for the first time some are old timers!
I've been back at work now for 2 weeks. It hasn't been as bad as I thought. I have more energy when I get home too. I think it's safe to say that I'm not cut out to be a "sahm" and God bless those women who do.
Last Thursday we took Samantha to her preschool for "Meet the Teachers" night, she realized as soon as we pulled into the parking lot where we were and became all clingy and didn't want to go in. Once we were inside and they showed us her room it took a few minutes but she then was willing to look around and play. The teachers were great and seemed to be very nice. Who can really tell though until the actual year starts out? They did tell us about a new procedure which surprised me. This year children are to be dropped off at the entryway and not in their room, parents are supposed to drop off and leave. Which surprised me because I was told even for new children. Ummm yeah...I can't see that working with Samantha on her first day. I understand that the more you prolong leaving it gets worse but I see no harm in walking your child on the FIRST day to their room for a few minutes. We shall see how this pans out on Sept 10. Oh and they also have a new rule about no soothers and bottles for toddlers. I was told if your toddler needs milk to have a nap they'll put it in a cup for her to drink out of. Ummm yeah. All this is good in theory but I find it to be a bit drastic. I can see that they want to teach the children not to rely on soothers and bottles but coming from my perspective as a parent I'm just a softie. So yes on the first day I may be sending in Samantha with her contraband soother!
Today we went shoe shopping for Samantha, one pair of new running shoes and another pair for indoor as the school wants 2 pairs of shoes. One for indoor and out. At least she needed the new shoes, her feet seem to growing faster than the rest of her!
Right now she's napping and I'm debating on whether we should make the trek down to the CNE for the evening.

Check It!

2007-08-30T21:35:00.001-04:00

I've got two new posts up at MBT, one here and the other here! Check it out! It's not everyday that I write 3 posts in one day. If you're in the mood to clean it's covered and if you've got gifts to wrap or are really organized and are getting ready for the holiday season that's taken care of too!

Too Much of a Good Thing

2007-08-27T22:36:00.001-04:00

One consequence of returning to work: coffee. Too much coffee. While at home, I was a one cup drinker in the morning and maybe the occasional cup in the midday or late afternoon if I was running an errand. Now, back at work, I'm having 3 or 4. Of course this is pushed on me by the new Tim Horton's across the street. It opened just after I left on mat leave and I was so upset. For years at work I'd been suffering through the acrid tasting and lukewarm coffee served in the local coffee shop. I remember telling friends what we need around here is a Tim's.
Then the rumours started about a year before I left work that there would be one opening up soon. And I waited, and waited. Watching the condo towers being built across the street hoping that "Tim" would be moving in soon. No luck. I left work in August 2005 and about 4 months later they opened.
Then I'd be saying at home, can't wait to go back and be able to get a good cup of coffee. And now here I am.
This morning at 11am I'm already on my second cup. 2 milks one sugar, trying to cut back from my usual double double. I know not every one's a fan of Timmie's but going from the crap I had before here at work it's much better. Although yes even Tim's makes a bad cup now and then. I honestly think it depends who makes it in the morning. And also certain locations to me are better than others. The one across from my work pretty good, the one at the Esso gas station near home, horrid.
They also have these little Danish strudel things that are 3 for $1.00 and are just so tasty. I'm being spoiled. Also the caffeine fix is not good for my days away from work. Last Friday I was home and was suffering a major headache from the lack of coffee. Not good. Somehow I need to cut back. But I know around 1pm the coffee will be calling my name again.

Thank you!

2007-08-26T15:08:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those days where you just wish you could crawl back into bed and stay there for oh about 15 years. Samantha woke up around 2am with a stuffed nose, she slept with me for the remainder of the night until 7:30am. Well, more like she slept and tossed and kicked, while I lay awake listening to her snoring and feeling her kicks. Joe had smartly moved himself into the spare room. We woke up, had breakfast and played until Joe came down around 9:30am. The morning consisted of me wiping her nose every 5 minutes, having lunch outside on the patio while she climbed in and out of my lap, put chicken in my glass of water, threw a couple of tantrums etc etc. I was doing all I could to not burst into tears. I know, so dramatic!. We went up around 2pm, and she shortly fell asleep. Whew. I was going to lie down myself but blogs called out my name, and thankfully so! I grabbed two mini ice cream sandwiches and sat down to read. And look what I was awarded!

What this means:

“This award is for those bloggers who are nice people and good blog friends - those who bring good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world. Once you’ve been awarded, please pass it on to 7 others who you feel are deserving of this award.”

One of my favourite bloggers, awarded me my very first award for being nice! I can totally relate to what she wrote about when people call you nice it's automatically assumed oh that just means boring! But no, this just means that you're a wonderful person. Someone we all need in our lives. So thank you S, and hopefully soon, now that I'm back to work in the T.O area we can meet!

And now my turn to award 7 "nice" people!.

ScarbieDoll; my first blog I ever read, who though she's not aware, helped me through rough times during those early days with a new baby by making me laugh and cry. Also taking time to congratulate her on her daughter's birth!!

Motherbumper: We met and I was so glad I took the chance to meet someone blindly! She's such a good person and a great writer!

Petite Gourmand: We've never met, but I love reading her posts. She always has a positive spin on her posts no matter how bad a day she's having.

Haley-O: This girl you can tell would be someone you'd want to hang with.

Crazymumma: I met her once but instantly felt a soul that was so kind and caring. Read her posts and you'll see!

Lillian: A fellow Brazilian living in the US, is defintely a person I'd like to know. Always takes the time to respond to my comments and you can just tell that she's wonderful.

Sandra: Yes I'm "regifting" my award back to the person who gave it to me because although we've never met, she's always had kind word to say and is just so damn nice!

Thanks!

On a Lighter Note

2007-08-22T21:33:00.001-04:00

For two years, since Samantha was born, I can count on my fingers the number of times I've worn perfume. Now that I've returned to the workforce I can start wearing it again. As I was driving into work this morning I began thinking of all the perfumes I've worn and how certain ones bring me back to a place, feeling or person. It's amazing what memory and scent can do. I thought I'd write out a history of the different perfumes I've worn over time. Yes I now have all this time on my hands and this is all I can come up with but hey at least it's something. Feel free to comment on what's your current favourite perfume, if you do wear any. I always like seeing what others enjoy.

The first perfume I can remember was my mom's she wore Nina Ricci's L'air du Temps. The bottle had a bird on top and I think the design is still the same. I was maybe 9 or 10 at the time, but I remember that bottle sitting on her dresser as I would play with her things.

From there I remember being 14 and just starting high school and wearing Tabu. Oh my god, who knows why I liked that one. They still sell it at Shopper's Drug Mart I'm sure. It was very vanilla but strong.

During my high school years I wore a variety of Body Shop perfumes; White Musk (bleh) Mango (my fav) and Strawberry. Even now if I were to smell the Mango it would take me back to high school and my days of sitting with friends during our "spare" in front of our lockers.

I then enjoyed The Gap's Dream. That was university. Reminds me of my days on the bus reading Stephen King and going to school. Also reminds me of this guy Mark that I met in my anthropology class, very tall, spiky hair, black leather jacket. I had such a huge crush on him, as with most guys that I crushed on he never knew. I was just the girl who he had lunch with occasssionally and would give him her anthro notes when he missed class.

After university I was hooked onto Ralph Lauren's Ralph. I wore that all the time. People at work always knew if I had been at a certain spot as they would recognize the scent. Perhaps a sign I was liberally spritzing? I also wore Tommy Girl by Tommy Hilfiger. So fresh and clean smelling.

When I started going out with Joe I was wearing the Ralph Lauren one and then purchased Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue, fruity but a touch powdery. If I smell it now I'll remember my honeymoon as I brought that one with me.

Just when I became pregnant in November Joe bought me a perfume by Cartier for Christmas. I did wear it for a bit but stopped as I had such bad morning sickness. Unfortunately the bottle has remained completely full since 2004 as if I even smell it now I remember the nauseous feeling I had then and I feel it all over again. Hey a good birth control method ;-)

Which brings me to my new favourite perfume. Incanto Dream by Salvatore Ferragamo. So fruity and fresh. I smelled this perfume last summer in New York at Macy's and when I came home I couldn't find it anywhere until a month ago when The Bay in Yorkdale finally started carrying it. One whole year to arrive in Canada!

I'm sure there's a few more perfumes but those are the ones that stick in my mind. Any favourites you care to share with me?

It's Not too Bad

2007-08-21T19:39:00.000-04:00

I am back in the rat race. As I drove into work yesterday morning at
7am I noticed all the blank stares in the faces of people driving. Yes
we're all zombies at that time. Although I secretly confess that I am
a morning person, it just might not show when I'm with Samantha. So I
arrived at work, nothing's changed. Same faces, same routines, same
office smell. It only took my employer 5 hours to give me building
access and computer access. Normally it would've taken them 4 days. They must've sped up a bit in the two years that I was gone.

Samantha was at my mom's yesterday so I was fine with that. Today she
was woken up at 7am by Joe, dressed and had breakfast, and was out the door by 8am to my mother in law. Today I'm nervous about that. She's
never spent the day with her so not sure how naps will go. I guess
Samantha will adapt. My mother in law, in her heart, is a good person.
Always goes out of her way to help but her parenting styles are
different from myself and my mom.

Also I've been hesitant to post about this but I overheard something on the weekend that really shocked me and left me quite angry. My inlaws are good people. They mean well. They are not educated but you can't blame them for that, times were different when they grew up, but they came to a new country and made a life for themselves, and have turned out quite successful. BUT, I discovered over the weekend that they're pretty discrimantory. I always knew of their preference for their culture and nationality but would hope that they would keep that to themselves and not project it onto their nieces and nephews. Over the weekend though I was proven wrong as I overheard my mil talking to my niece and Samantha (although Sam was occupied with a toy and hopefully not really paying attention) that brown people smell. I'm actually embarrased to write that. But those are the words that came out of her mouth as she was looking at one of Sam's Fisher Price Little People. I'm so angry that she would teach that to a child, I shudder to think now what she will say to Samantha while she's watching her. Hopefully Samantha will learn from me and not her grandmother. I don't know how long I'll keep this portion of the post up. It really bothers me but I wanted to get it out. My mother in law is wonderful it's just terrible and unfortunate that she has these views.

So now I'm back at work, it's strange having all this free time to yourself, learning to converse with adults again, able to get a coffee,
think. I'm pretty sure I can get used to this!

Hey Mommy I only miss you a little bit! Heehee

It Starts Again Tomorrow

2007-08-19T17:20:00.000-04:00

I am returning to work tomorrow. Oh my God. I haven't worked for 2 years exactly. But I start again tomorrow. Monday to Thursday. 7:30-3:30. Wow. At least I'll have a paycheque again.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

2007-08-17T09:07:00.000-04:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Today is your second birthday! In your words, "Oh my goodness"! I cannot believe what a sweet little girl you are growing into. You overwhelm me each day with your hugs and kisses and your I love you's. You're turning into such a smart independent and a little stubborn (like Mommy) girl. I'm so proud to be your mommy.

What I wish For

2007-08-16T15:21:00.000-04:00

I Hope You Dance

by Lee Ann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

Hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'

Lovin'might be a mistake but it's worth makin'

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin'out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along

Dance

I hope you dance

The words I want my daughter to know but cannot express them as beautifully. Tomorrow is her 2nd birthday, her second year video to post tomorrow. Yes I'm a sucker for weepy and beautiful video montages. Joe still cries when he see's last year's video.

The Price I have Paid

2007-08-14T15:56:00.000-04:00

I have gorgeous hair right now. Just a stunning, vibrant burgundy red. The kind you can see from miles away. It looks amazing with my skin tone and makes my green eyes pop out at you and say, "Hello good lookin' here I am!". But you know what all this good stuff doesn't do a damn thing when your eyes and cheeks swelled up to the size of a football. Yes I had an allergic reaction to the hair dye. Surprisingly, considering I've been dyeing my hair for over 10 years. But something triggered the attack and I'm paying the price now. Antihistamines everyday until the swelling goes away, eye drops, and washing my hair until the dye is off my scalp. The doctor told me luckily I don't need to use steroids right now. Just perfect. I blame my stylist a little as she left the dye on for FORTY FIVE minutes.

I did a little research into this and apparently allergies to hair dyes are on the rise, particularly in teenagers. The culprit is a common chemical ingredient in permanent hair dyes, called para-phenylenediamine, or PPD. PPD is found in more than two-thirds of commercial dyes, the researchers say, including many of the top-selling brands.
Patients with severe PPD reactions commonly develop painful rashes around the hair line or on the face, which often require treatment and can occasionally lead to hospitalization. Facial swelling is also common.

I also read that several hair dye manufacturers in Germany, Sweden and France have banned the use of PPD in hair dye.

So now I'm a little wary about dyeing my hair in the future. I can use semi permanent color or natural dyes. Just when I found a great hair color I love. But I'm not going to risk looking like this every time I go to the hair salon. Don't I look pretty and could my nose have swelled any bigger. Frack. Also my eyebrows need some help now that I notice. But that's another topic.

Anyway what a fracken funtastic segway into the next topic. Get yourselves over to MBT to vote on which issue regarding the environment we should focus on. Can you guess which issue I chose ;)

It's in the Bag!

2007-08-11T08:33:00.000-04:00

There's a fun purse/backpack/luggage/bag meme going on over at Motherbumper and HBM, here's my BORING take on the goods I'm carrying. I actually love bags, I think I have about 50 of them, and right now I'm carrying a small one so my items are pretty tiny. If you were to look in my diaper bag, there's a bit more, but nothing interesting. Oh, I might as well post the two pics. Here goes. In my small bag I've got a warranty card for a car seat; who ever remembers to send those in and yes I know you can do it online but who remembers to do that? I've got the usual credit cards, and a M&M meat shop card, tags for Samantha's Croc shoes, my strawberry lip balm, lipstick and a tiny black wallet to carry my change, and my cell phone is usually there but not today. See, boring!

Now in my diaper bag, another boring collection, I've got diapers, wipes, change pad thingie (swiped from the hospital two years ago, yes I still carry it around), baby powder, goldfish crackers (more for me than Samantha I think), ticket stub from Canada's Wonderland, one of those thingie's that tie up the bread, wet nap, sticker from Walmart, and two playing cards. Ooooh the life I lead.

On another note, I've changed my hair color once again. I'm now a redhead. Got tired of the blonde highlights, and I think the blonde was actually making me look washed out and tired and I really don't need anymore help in that department. So I've gone red and I love it. When I got home Samantha says, "ohhh you changed your hair, it's purple now, not orange".

And one last thing, I found this cool site here at Urban Mummy where you're able to punch in your address and it tells you how "walkable" your neighborhood is. It's fun. My current suburbia home has a score of zero out of a hundred. Yes zero. I knew this place was all wrong. My last condo in Richmond Hill got a 75 and the apartment before that at Yonge & St. Clair scored 98! Check out the site!

Could it have gotten any worse?

2007-08-09T16:35:00.001-04:00

So, last Saturday we (myself, Joe, Samantha and my mom) departed for 5 days up north in Tiny Beaches in a rented cottage. A wonderful idea, some sun, sand and relaxation. We found the cottage online, a good price (should've been our first clue), and the pictures looked alright. We left Saturday around 10:30am and what should've been an hour and 20 min drive took almost 2 1/2 hours. The traffic was unbelievable. We stopped along the way as Samantha's diaper leaked and she was quite upset at having told me she had a leaky diaper and I didn't actually think she was telling the truth until 20min later when she was hysterical. Yes I'm a bad mom.

We stopped to change her diaper and the first argument between Joe and my mom began. If you don't know they don't really get along. I don't even know what the argument was about. We get back on the road and arrive at the cottage an hour later. We pull up and we can already see that the grounds are dirty and unkept. Joe and I go up to the front door while my mom and Samantha are still at the car, thankfully. We are both attacked by wasps. I get stung below my eyebrow and Joe on his arm. What a great welcome.

Inside the place is ummm...not too fresh. The bathtub is rusted, the beds are lumpy, and the fridge doesn't work. Fun times ahead. We call the owner, he says he'll try to get a mini fridge up by the next day. We pack ice in the fridge and hope for the best. Joe brought up a charcoal bbq and thank god for that as the one they provided I wouldn't put a piece of meat there if you paid me a million dollars. The owner also told us that he'd also bring us a gas bbq as well because as he put it, "our guests deserve a gas one." Hmmm...thanks for the even more disgusting bbq you dropped off, you must've picked it up from the side of the road on your way up. And the owner also got stung on his lip when he dropped it off. Ha!

The beach was beautiful, warm water and soft sand. Minus the exception of us being told to move from one part of the beach to another by the lovely old bat by the name of Mrs. Trunk of Tiny Beaches. Apparently she's the resident busy body and annoyance who doesn't allow anyone on her portion of the beach directly in front of her cottage as it ruins her view. As if the old hag can see. Thanks Mrs. Trunk for showing me that snobbery still exists. Also the first 10 feet from the water inwards are public, we were told by another resident, on any beach in the world.

Over the next two days we enjoyed the beach, my eye finally resumed to it's normal size and we started to relax. Until the next argument between my mom and Joe upon which she left for home the next day. Good times.

So we're back. So much for thinking up a good idea to spend our summer days. Ahhh....ok it wasn't that bad but it could've been better and the beach was gorgeous though. And we learned about a shortcut home that saves us a half hour. We'll use it next time!

What you're telling me you didn't have fun? How could you not with the beach and watermelon to enjoy?

Life of the Party

2007-08-02T23:33:00.000-04:00

There's been quite a bit of talk in the past about whether the blogging world, of which parents participate in, is like high school. It was brought up again recently due to the Blogher convention this past week. I'm not one to really get into thinking posts but after reading HBM's view on it I went to bed thinking about it and my thoughts on it is that the blogging world is like a big party. Everyone's invited. You can show up or not. You can be the life of the party, mingling, stirring up interesting conversation, you can be wallflowers and just observe, or you can hang with a few friends. Everyone's welcome and it's up to you what role you'd like to play. Me, I think I'm the wallflower. I'd like to be the life of the party but I know that'll never be. It's just not in me. In my entire life, reality wise, I never was the life of the party. I'm usually the one who shows up with a few friends and who hang out by the bar having drinks and listening to the music. It bothers me a bit because I'd love to be the extrovert for once. A lot of people think I'm snobbish but really I'm just shy. Once you get to know me I'm quite nice ;). So, back to the point. There's no high school happening here in our blogging corner just a big party that we're all invited to. Me, I'll be the one by the bar, drinking and observing!

Weekend Recap

2007-07-30T16:44:00.000-04:00

Saturday evening we met a few friends from work for the jazz fest down at the Beaches. Great time was had. The couple that we had dinner with at their home lives just minutes away from the beach and everytime we go I return home with an urge to start searching for homes. But the Beaches are a tad far from where I would like to be at the moment. High Park is still a possibility; for me at least. Moving on, the band that I enjoy the most everytime we go is Samba Squad. They are awesome and always bring me back to my vacations in Brazil.

That Sat night my in laws came over to babysit and it was successful. They don't babysit Samantha too often but I figured that in 3 weeks she'll be in my mil's care quite a bit, when I return to work, so I better start getting Samantha used to them. Today when I was feeding Samantha lunch I had a lump in my throat when I was thinking that my mother in law will be feeding her lunch and putting her down for naps every day. This going back to work thing is not as easy as it sounds. Not that my mil is a bad woman, she's just not me. And that's a hard thing for me to accept.

Sunday we spent at home, couple of hours in the wading pool; Samantha not us ;), then lunch, a long nap and dinner. A quiet day but meltdown free.

Next weekend we are going up to Balm Beach where we've rented a tiny cottage for 5 days. The list making has begun, I think we have to take two cars!

Less Than a Month to....

2007-07-26T16:40:00.000-04:00

enjoy your sweet smile

give you your bottle of "milkie" in the morning

listen to your babbles from your crib

play in your turtle pool together

listen to those moments when you're talking to yourself

chase after you to change your "diapie"

ask what you want for lunch

have you help me in my garden

dress you in the morning

read you stories

cuddle before nap time

hold your hand when you're jumping on my bed

go to the grocery store

take walks to pick up our mail

see you learning new words

just be with you every day

I've Caved to Fashion

2007-07-25T08:54:00.001-04:00

See past the cool shades, Mommy's old purse and just look at what is on her feet. I've caved to the dark side of fashion. I just never thought I'd buy her a pair but I couldn't resist they just looked so cute!

**Also check out my new post at MBT, a few tips on creating a spa retreat in your home.

Weekend Retreat

2007-07-24T23:54:00.000-04:00

I caught the first fish! As usual! We didn't keep the fish, he was set free.

For our anniversary we went up to a resort in the Muskokas this past weekend for 3 days. Just heavenly. I could spend my summers up there. We actually stopped at a Viceroy dealer on the way up and picked up a catalogue. We know we'd like a cottage in the future but we're still deciding on building one or buying a resale.

The resort was beautiful, the grounds I mean. The rooms could stand for a little upgrading. Considering the small fortune we paid per night they could send their bathrooms from the mid 1970's to the present at least. The small gathering of flies on the window in the hallways didn't help either. Not that I'm a complainer but seriously by the amount of people they have staying in there I think they can afford to remodel a little. We only had breakfast at the resort, it was good, but usually you can't screw that up. For dinner we went into town both nights. Our second night we ate at a restaurant called Aroma's. Amazing. Better than a lot of restaurants in Toronto. Asian influenced, the place was packed. The best meal I've had in a long time. We spent our time at the resort fishing, swimming, reading, we took a catamaran out and we played golf. It was a great time.

So now we're back. Tonite we went out to dinner. Miss S not in a happy to sit still mood so we ended up in a nice family restaurant, Swiss Chalet. How romantic. Check out the cheesecake, very delicious actually!

But we needed a quickie meal and this fit our bill, and again Brampton really doesn't have too many fine dining places. But nonetheless a happy night for us. Wonder where and what we'll be doing this time again next year?

3 Years

2007-07-24T08:34:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary to us! 3 years ago today on a summer afternoon we were wed.

Hot and Sticky

2007-07-19T14:34:00.000-04:00

When a couple embarks on the journey of having a baby they are usually told to talk about important issues beforehand. Important issues such as breastfeeding, sleeping, discipline and even how many visitors they want once the baby is born. But how about the baby's hairstyle? Or the toddler's hairstyle? Do both parents decide on what to do with their child's hair or do most dads leave that up to the moms? In my opinion I say leave the decision to the parent who has to actually wash, dry and comb the hair. Which in my case is me. The reason I bring this up is that I'm wanting to cut Samantha's hair into a very short bob. She has lots of hair, right now it's hangs just in the middle of her back. Combing it every morning is often a struggle. Although this seems to be only with me at the moment. My mother can comb her hair, put it into little pigtails, braid it or what else have you. Me, I get screaming and running away. But that's another post. So, when I am able to get Samantha's hair into a ponytail all is well. When I'm not we have this on the back of her neck

A hot and scratchy rash. Everytime her hair is down. Samantha seems to have taken after her dad in that she always feels warm. So we get rashes. Which leaves me wanting to cut her hair and make her feel better and ease my mornings also. But I've been told that in no circumstances can her hair be cut. Which leaves me to ask, as the person who has to deal with this don't I get the final say? Or are we supposed to comprimise. Which I'm not planning to do.

Step outside our door

2007-07-17T16:16:00.000-04:00

Imagine that! All it took was a little venturing out of our home and we've discovered a park 10 minutes away (by car) complete with barn, paddle boats, wading pool, and 3 playgrounds. The park's name is Chingacousy Park. Quite a mouthful and I'm not even sure if it's spelled right. But we've been there twice and I love it. I now have no reason to complain.
They've renovated the barn and it now has spacious areas for the animals to roam and it's clean. There are goats which you can pet and feed for 50 cents and a pony ride for $3.00. Both thoroughly enjoyed by our little girl. The playgrounds are safe and clean and have great equipment.
We've been to the wading pool and Samantha had a blast. She truly is like her mother, a fish in the water.
I'm so happy we've found this place. Although we've put up a swing set in our backyard it doesn't compare to this place. We're even thinking of having Samantha's 2nd birthday party here. We've scouted out an area that has lots of shade and tables and is right next to the playground. I think it's perfect.

Act Now

2007-07-05T13:24:00.000-04:00

Over at MBT, women are gathering and speaking out on causes that are important to them.
It seems that for the past week I've been reading several stories on child abuse. Horrific stories that I won't even link to but it caused such pain in my heart knowing that out there right now a child is being abused. It brings tears to my eyes.
So please check out the site and add your cause to the list.

How we've been spending the last 2 weeks

2007-07-05T13:16:00.000-04:00

Grandpa

2007-07-05T13:06:00.001-04:00

So my dad has been here for almost 2 weeks. It's been interesting, challenging and relaxing all at once. Samantha's off at my mom's for 3 days now so I have a chance to update this blog with new posts. Thankfully. I've been so exhausted every night that all I've been doing is checking out other blogs, chatting on yahoo and facebook and composing posts in my head. So I finally have time to write.

Samantha and her grandpa are getting along wonderfully. From the first moment they met she felt no shyness, it was as if she knew he was family. It was fun to see. My dad has a way with her, he's calm and not pushing and not always fussing over her. He doesn't push. He's around if she wants to play and he plays with her in a fun way. It's been interesting to watch. When Samantha gets up in the morning she calls out Grandpa, Grandpa and wants to open the door to his room.

I was a little hesitant on how it would all go. My relationship with my dad has been very rough. He and my mom divorced when I was in my teens, although they should've done it when I was much younger. He was a good father to me, although when the drinking started he was a bad father and even worse husband. So we have a relationship now mostly due to the fact that he is my dad after all, he's older and I have a lot of guilt because he's alone in this world and I'm all he has.

I've been searching out senior's apartments because he wants to return to Toronto. Tough thing to do when you have limited income. And of course the guilt sets in when he sees how large a house I have and I've not offered to have him stay with us. But it's just not possible, taking care of Samantha and my dad, he has a lot of health issues, would be a daunting task. Plus the fact that yes we get along but he's very stubborn sometimes and talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. Kind of like talking to a toddler ;).

So I found him a senior's apartment he likes, he just has to apply and perhaps in another 8 months he'll be back. For now he's enjoying the time with his granddaughter.

Guest in the House

2007-06-25T18:13:00.001-04:00

My dad is coming tonite to stay with us for 3 weeks. He lives in Hungary for the time being. The reason, the sad reason, is that he cannot afford a retirement home here. A man who spent his entire life here working, got a sizeable pension when he retired early due to health problems, is unable to get a private room in a home. His monthly pension from his employer is limited by the bank and together with the government pension is not enough to afford a room. We've checked into it and unless we are missing something, we've been told he can only get a subsidized room if he shares with another person. Which I find ridiculous. An elderly person should be allowed to live in comfort in the old age. My dad's a shy man and not one for sharing a room. So he moved back to Hungary where he can live out the rest of his years. It's also not fair to Joe for him to move in with us, and I can't provide the care he needs at times. Especially now with Samantha and me returning to work. It bothers me inside that I can't look after him but this is the situation.
So, he's arriving tonite and he's excited to see Samantha. He hasn't met her yet. It also gave me a chance to turn one of the bedrooms into a guest room. One of my passions is interior design and I rarely get a chance to decorate. I would like to go back to school and study interior design but it's such a hard profession to get into. Everywhere you look there are people selling their talent. Perhaps.
This afternoon, Joe and I took a drive into Caledon to stop at an antique shop where I picked up a white chair for cheap. I'm going to use it in Samantha's new "big girl" room, but for now it fits into the guest room. There's also some artwork I want to pick up at Ikea. Cheap and fits the budget right now. Let's say we have zero money right now. The time can't come soon enough for me to return to work and start bringing home some money.
So tomorrow Samantha will see her grandpa for the first time. She's sleeping tonite at my mom's as his flight comes in late. Should be an interesting 3 weeks!

Splish Splash

2007-06-23T15:10:00.001-04:00

Samantha has a little friend on our street, a girl who's 10 months older than she. They are just at the age now where this summer they're able to play together and, most of the time, understand one another. But isn't it always the way that when you are finally enjoying someone's company something happens to change it. Well, Samantha's little friend is moving on Thursday. Only 10 minutes away by car but to us it seems so far when we've been so used to just going two doors down and saying hello.

This afternoon the little girls had a little pool party of their own!

Off to the Farm

2007-06-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

As a recent post of mine said, I was out of ideas for things to do and places to go. Thanks to MM and PG I decided to venture to downtown Toronto to a small oasis in the big city called Riverdale Farm. Two lovely little ladies also accompanied us and the trip was wonderful. The farm was a great place for toddlers to check out all the farm animals and a bonus is that it's free! And I also scored free parking right in front! That was my one concern as I was driving down from Brampton was the parking. I hate parallel parking! I used to be able to do it perfectly when I had my small car but now with the 4 door boat that I have I can no longer do it. So when I pulled up in front of the farm where not too many cars had arrived it was a breeze and not a meter in sight! Yahoo!

Samantha loved seeing the animals and the other children as well. We had a small lunch at the park beside the farm and then we headed home. A great day spent!

Father's Day

2007-06-17T15:38:00.001-04:00

What is it about men and barbeques! This is the gift that Samantha and I bought Joe for Father's Day. Read the gift that Joe bought himself. It's not like we needed a new bbq but it all came to light in a roundabout way. Joe and his father do landscaping (if anyone needs any fences, interlock, etc email me) and on one of his jobs Joe saw a plan for a built in bbq and the seed was planted. Of course a built in bbq costs quite a bit of $$$ so he settled for a brand spankin' new stainless steel one.

So, being Father's Day, we invited his parents over for a bbq lunch. I made my delicious pasta salad, find the recipe here, and we had a good time.Samantha's napping for the afternoon and we're relaxing on this very hot June day.

What to do, what to do?

2007-06-15T12:01:00.000-04:00

It's not even the middle of summer and already I feel like I'm running out of things to do. Ok, maybe Samantha enjoys playing in her sand box day after day, but I'm hoping to bring her to new places to experience different things. Only thing is I seem to have run out of ideas. In Brampton, there isn't a whole lot of places to go to. Or maybe I'm just not aware of any. There are only so many times we can go to the mall. And Samantha and I really aren't mall people.

We live in a new subdivision and my neighbours and I aren't too impressed with the lack of playgrounds. Seems our builder thought the majority of people moving here were older and took the plans for playgrounds out of the picture. So we have nothing, not even greenspace to run around in. Joe and I received a swing set last year but we still have to set it up. Just seems that a playground with other kids would be more enjoyable.

So, I'm trying to come up with places for us to go to now. I can see that most of them will be out of Brampton. Wednesday night, while Joe was playing soccer, I went down to visit my mom in Mississauga and we went down to the lake. Samantha loved looking at all the sailboats, people, and dogs. It was so enjoyable. Then my mom mentions that there's a house for sale within walking distance of the lake. I would love to see it, but I know Joe is dead set against moving to Mississauga.

So if anyone has any ideas of what to do in Brampton let me know. I can hear the responses now. Hahahaah!

Off to the Zoo

2007-06-12T15:32:00.000-04:00

So yesterday we decided to take a trip to the zoo. I was a little hesitant, as usual, as it's a long drive from Brampton to Scarborough and I wasn't sure if Samantha would enjoy the heat and sitting in the stroller etc etc. Just my general mommy paranoia of going anywhere. But I was proven wrong, thankfully. Traffic across the 401 was light at 10am and we made it in a half hour. Samantha truly enjoyed seeing the monkeys, elephants, tigers, polar bears, and the goats. We brought snacks and had lunch at one of the fast food places so conveniently ( heheh) scattered all along the way. Chicken strips along with cucumbers eaten outside was enjoyed by our little one. Thank God, as that's one of my main reasons for not taking long trips as she's such a fussy eater. After lunch we went off in search of the splash pad, as it was pretty hot, to enjoy the water. Unfortunately it's closed during the week, along with pony rides and anything else a child may want to enjoy. It's only open on the weekends and then on weekdays after school ends for the summer. The only drawback to the day. We did enjoy petting a few goats that were in the kids area and seeing some adorable bunnies and pigs.

We left at 2pm, Samantha had her nap in the car and got home around 3:30 after a brief detour for some Italian limoncello ice cream in Woodbridge. All in all it was a great time and I'm glad I decided to throw my silly caution to the wind and go!!!

What Sun, Water and a Little Love can Grow

2007-06-09T15:39:00.001-04:00

Basil
Tomatoes
Sweet Peppers
Lettuce (that's come back to life!)
and our little bunny

On the wondering and waiting, I'm still waiting but no longer wondering. I took another test last night, a name brand one if that matters, and it's still negative. So, I suppose this month is just a missed month. In reality, I'm a little relieved. I still am not ready to have another one, and not sure if I want to. If it were to happen accidently as this time may have turned out I would be fine with it. But we, more me, is not trying for it though.

Still Waiting and Wondering

2007-06-08T12:36:00.000-04:00

Well, in reference to my cryptic entry below, the news is no news at this time. I'm 4 days late, for all you women out there you know what that means, and 99% of the time I'm right on schedule. I did do a preg test last night that came back negative, but it was a no name brand test so maybe it's wrong?. Most likely not, I'm assuming the lateness is due to me dropping 8lb and being tired. So we shall see!

On a Lighter Note

2007-06-06T23:56:00.000-04:00

Every once and awhile I go on Ebay, ok more like 3 or 4 times a week. Anyway, check this link out. Is this for real!!!!

Impossible I Say!

2007-06-06T15:32:00.000-04:00

The impossible could be happening right now. Yes, that's a cryptic message. But I am afraid to write down the actual words. Very afraid, so afraid that it makes me laugh like a crazy person. We shall see in the next day or so.